


Spicy yet sweet

by AnnaFrederieke



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, British Actor RPF
Genre: Assistant, Celebrities, Developing Relationship, Drama, F/M, Love, PA, Romance, Romantic Comedy, celebrity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-08
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 14:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1174381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaFrederieke/pseuds/AnnaFrederieke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Madison, a lovely girl, who looks like a very strong woman on the outside, meets Benedict while attending a bussiness party as a PA. She sparks his interest, but not willing to accept her feelings, she outruns him.<br/>When they accidentally meet again, Benedict is -without trying, able to see her vulnerable side. Somehow, he is able to destroy the walls around her, very patiently, brick by brick. But will it last?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rosy flowers and tinted cheeks

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!  
> First of all, I'm not a native English speaker. Therefore, my grammar may not be perfect: sorry about that. Feel free to add things I need to change!
> 
> My story will first be all cute and dreamy, but do not forget I am going to change it up! So be prepared :)
> 
> I would love suggestions or any ideas I might want to put in. Thanks beforehand!

It was a very warm, settled summer evening. The slightly cooled wind blew playfully against her skin, crawling over her like a soft, cosy blanket. It felt as if mother nature was holding her: giving her a warm embrace as an escape from her daily life.  
The mingled smell of the flowers around her made her smile. Pink tulips, red roses, yellow orchids: an endless variation of colours and shapes which all created a fresh, lovely odour. How she loved summer. It really couldn’t get any better from here. Having no rush, just doing things calm and easy, as they come and go. That’s how she liked things.  
In the pond frogs were making their usual noises, while somewhere ahead of her an owl sang his last verse before going to sleep. It was getting late, she should go back to her apartment now.

As she opened her eyes, she came back to reality. That fortunately meant her mind was working again, because if it would’ve not, she most certainly would have forgotten about the party.  
‘Oh, bollocks’, she murmured, as she looked at her watch. It was 11 PM, she should have been at the party by now already.  
She bounced off the bench and as she started to run to her apartment, she realised the party had actually started at 9 PM already. God, this is what she hated so much. _Time. Why did time even exist?_

* * *

There she was, entering the hall way with a slight rosy glance on her face because of the hurry. A lightbrown silk material covered her body from her neck to around her knees, while her back was all bare. The colour was just dark enough to compliment her porcelain skin, while a peach coloured lipstick covered her lips. Her hair was pulled in a bun, allowing little strands of her blonde, curly hair to peek out.

The dress, despite the high neck, kind of was provocative. It was a business party, but, after all, she didn´t care. Now that she had exaggerated the point of becoming late, she felt no harm in exaggerating her presence as well. Taking a deep breath, she entered the party room.

It was lovely. The whole ceiling was covered with little lights, shining like bright stars in the middle of the night. The white, marble floor blinked all its way up to the stage, where a small orchestra was playing a delightful, if it weren’t a divine, beautiful melody. She recognised it, though she wasn´t able to place it.  
All around her were people: smiling, laughing, yelling; some even singing. Women in short, lace dresses sipping from their cocktails, gentlemen wearing handsome tuxedos and everywhere she looked, there were people dancing to the lovely music gambling in the room. It was rather overwhelming, but not in a bad way.  
She actually quite enjoyed observing people, especially when it came to gambling their origin. That’s what she used to do with her best friend, who was still living in Holland. She, however, moved on and packed her bags one day to leave her home country and never return. It was the best decision she had made so far: London was absolutely flawless. It was the one city where anyone would feel home, no matter where you were from.

A sudden hand on her shoulder made her stop daydreaming.

‘Well, hello there Madison!’ a man kissed both of her cheeks and pushed her a little back to give himself a good view of her. ´You look absolutely splendid! How are you?´  
It was Alcott. He had been a very good friend and colleague of hers since she arrived in London. Except for the fact that he already obtained a job as a PA (not to mention the PA of Bradley Cooper), they had been on the same path together. He also came from abroad, built a new life here and just enjoyed life as it passed by.

She smiled at him. ‘Thank you, thank you Al. You do look quite handsome yourself.’

He grinned. ‘Can I fetch you a drink?’

‘Sure, why not?’ she nodded. ‘A beverage wouldn’t do me any harm, wouldn’t it?’

Alcott laughed and then disappeared into the crowd, in direction of a bunch of tipsy, odd people who didn’t seem to get along with the melody of the song. You could call it dancing, but maybe alternative dancing would’ve been better.  
As she turned around, she saw her boss, Mr Lawson, waving at her. He was wearing a dark blue tuxedo, which was slightly too small for his size. His hair was all combed back and with a little bow tie he completed the I-am-trying-to-look-wealthy-but-I-am-not-look. She grinned. Lawson was talking to a bunch of actors, probably persuading them to choose for his business. Because he, after all, claimed to have the best PA’s in the whole world. It seemed to be Orlando Bloom and Jude law whom he was talking to. Well, she wouldn’t mind at all being their assistant.

The evening carried on rather fast. She danced a bit with her colleagues, talked to a bunch of other PA´s and even shared some drinks with them. They were all rather lovely. With some of them, it felt like she had been friends for ages. All very warm and welcome.  
After some fun with quite some actors, she decided it was time to go. It was 3:40 AM after all, which meant she already exceeded two hours of her limit.

However, getting her coat wasn’t the easiest thing to do. It appeared more people had made up their mind to fetch their jackets, which caused the whole hallway to be blocked. Though, she was able to sneak through the groups of people and when she was finally able to get her coat, she realised her coin with her peg number on it was missing.  
‘Shoot!’ she released a small sigh and looked around her to find anyone familiar. She recognised no-one, literally no-one out of all the hundreds of bloody people who were standing there. _Great, what should she do now?_

‘What’s wrong?’ suddenly, two immensely bright eyes that were both green and blue at the same time greeted her. She almost sunk in them. ‘You look quite upset, dear.’ It was Benedict Cumberbatch.

‘I… erm… I lost my peg number,’ she looked down. _Oh god, oh god, oh god, you’ve got to be kidding me, this was way too embarrassing._ There she was, standing next to Benedict-fucking-Cumberbatch, the biggest British actor at the moment, being a little girl losing her own bloody stuff. She must look pathetic!

Benedict smirked. Little wrinkles appeared next to his mouth and he placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘Let me fix that for you. Which number was it again?’

A few moments later Benedict arrived with her coat in his hands. Him walking to her felt like an eternity. His dazzling smile, his beautiful eyes looking at her while his hands were sufficing her: he truly was the definition of a perfect looking gentleman. As she wanted to grab the coat from him, he took a step back, tilting his head a bit and raising his eyebrows while looking her straight in her eyes. He was holding her coat for her. Her bloody coat! She knew what that meant.

‘No please,’ she grimaced. ‘Just let me put it on myself. I might as well be a baby for losing my stuff but I sure can put on a coat myself.’

‘Nope, I insist.’

‘But…’

‘No but! Or else you aren’t getting your coat,’ he smirked. He must have found himself very witty.

‘Alright, fine,’ she sighed. She turned her back to Benedict and put her hands backwards, while unknowingly giving Benedict a decent glance at her bare spine. He must have enjoyed that, because as he put on her coat, he had the biggest smirk on his face since he had arrived at the party that night.

‘Thanks,’ she whispered as she turned around. _God, he was handsome_. As she started buttoning up her long, blue coat, their eye contact did not break.

‘You’re welcome, miss…’

‘Just Madison,’ she replied. ‘My name is Madison, it was nice meeting you, Ben.’  
Oh, shoot! What the hell did she just say? Calling him Ben without him even saying his full name first? She must privileged herself as a total retard now. The only solution now was to keep things casual. Thus, before Benedict could even answer, she started laughing and pointed her lilac painted finger towards his blue and white striped handkerchief, and teasingly pressed on it. ‘You didn’t see that coming, did you?’ And with that set, she turned around and walked away, with a big smile on her face. That, kind of, was casual.


	2. Pond side bench

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benedict seemed to not let go of Madison that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment :) I'd love to hear things you like/dislike so I can improve!

As the world just went on, his stopped for a minute. He watched Madison walking away, without being able to catch up on her. He just stood there, cramped to the marble floor, watching how she left. Only his eyes were able to blink.  
There she walked, the most beautiful women he had ever met in his entire life. Her blue coat flapped open as she opened the door of the hallways, giving a slight peek of her meters long legs. The brown silky dress wiggled under the coat and casually brushed around her legs. Yes, casual she was and yet the opposite.  
 _Ben_. She called him Ben. No-one had ever called him Ben before even knowing him. He liked the way it sounded from her lips. Her beautifully, bold lips.

A slam of the door closing took him back to reality. ‘Madison!’ he suddenly felt the urge to go after her. ‘Madison!’  
It must have quite frightened her, because as Benedict ran through the hallway and smashed the doors open, it made so much noise that it made her hopping a bit so that she turned almost instinctually around. 

She frowned her eyebrows as she saw Benedict coming nearer to her.

‘Madison,’ Benedict now only stood a few inches apart from her. ‘Please, let my chauffeur bring you home. It´s late and dark outside in this city now.’

‘Ah, so I’m going home, then?’

Now it was Benedict’s turn to frown. He looked at the woman’s face and while he examined her features, he realised she was just teasing him. She was so beautiful. Her blonde curls peeking out of her bun, her lips, just her face it was just… splendid. But most wonderful were her eyes. He had never seen such loyal eyes before.

Her blue, greyish eyes met him.

‘You are, yes,’ Benedict grinned.

She smiled.

‘Well, thanks, but I’m perfectly fine. As I said, I may be a baby considering me and my not so good relationship with objects, but as far as I’m concerned I do have legs you know, to walk home.’

‘Walk?’ He didn’t see that coming.

‘It’s just around the block. But thanks, again.’

‘I will walk with you.’

She started laughing. ‘Oh please do not, I am not sure whether that is such a good idea. In fact, my mother learned me to never trust any random guy.’

‘Even if…’

She wouldn’t let him finish his sentence. ‘Even if that guy is a handsome gentleman named Benedict Cumberbatch, yes.’ _Oh, that was witty._

‘I wasn’t going to say that,’ Benedict cried.

‘You were,’ she winked. And with that said, she turned around and left for the second time.

And he just stood there, watching her leave in the middle of the night. He wasn’t too sure if it was because of the alcohol, but right now he really wouldn’t have mind to press his lips on hers.

* * *

_Hmm_ . She opened her eyes. Her bedroom was one white blot because of the sunlight peeking through her window. She must have forgotten to close the curtains last night.

_Last night_.  
  
 _Benedict_.

It was rather extraordinary for her to be so attracted to a man she had hardly ever known. That wasn’t something that characterised her. She had never been really impressed by someone before. That’s what fitted her so well for the job. It had always been her who wasn’t falling for that typical perfect celebrity image, which made her perfect for her job as PA in that category. She had never understand why celebrities were considered bigger, greater or fancier than any other ordinary human-being. But now, she did. _Benedict_.  
Though, she didn’t find it fair to throw it on the ‘celebrity-thing’. She sure wasn’t attracted by him just because he was one of the greatest British actors. He felt like quite ordinary the other night. And yet extraordinary. _This was hard._

She headed to the kitchen to fetch some eggs.  
‘Where in hell are my eggs?’ she murmured. It was just like any other thing in her life, with the peg number as most recent example. She would never know where she had put things, always lose things and never have good solution of what to do next. Oddly enough, it only happened with personal stuff: as a PA she never lost anything. How on earth would she then – ‘ah, there they are!’

As she started breaking the eggs into a pan she found randomly laying around on the coffee table, she couldn’t help but wonder what Benedict would’ve done. ‘He sure would have fetch me some eggs,’ she joked to herself.  
Though it was on that exact moment, she realised this really wasn't professional. What if Mr Lawson had persuaded Benedict to choose for his company? That didn't automatically mean she would be his PA, if he needed one, but it would mean she would see Benedict rather often. Just like Bradley Cooper with Alcott.   
Seeing Benedict more often while fangirling over him like a schoolgirl wasn't something good. She was 31 after all, not a teenager. And, why did she even think about this? Benedict had probably already forgotten about the chaos women she was. Both of them just fancied a talk, that's all. Nothing much.

* * *

Later that day, she headed back to the same bench where she sat the other night. She inhaled the fresh air of the flowers, feeling as free as a bird again. Sitting there just made her unaware of any situation that was going on in the world. It felt so good to just have an empty mind every now and then.

Ducks were croaking and somewhere ahead she heard children screaming because of the game they were playing. She smiled and opened her eyes. Kids were so delightful, so innocent and yet wonderful. The noise of cheering, screaming children took her back to her own childhood in Holland. It was nice growing up in a safe environment in the little country, with her family around her as much as she desired. _Her family_! She missed them! She should’ve – ‘Hello there,’ a male voice caused her not to finish her thoughts.

‘Mind if I join you?’

‘Oh… erm… no, not at all. That’s alright,’ she shoved a bit to the right to make room for him. He smelled rather nice, a bit spicy, yet sweet at the same time. _Hmm_ , she liked that smell, it was very manly. It somehow smelled familiar… Until then, she looked to the left and realised who the stature was: Benedict. _Fucking_ Benedict! Her eyes widened, her voice became high and she suddenly felt the urge to run away.

‘What in hell are you doing here!? How could you… how can you… how is this even possible?’ She emphasized the _possible_ in her question very clear. Because, fuck, she had never met anyone, in all those months she had been living in London, at this bench. And there he was, again. That sure wasn’t possible, without a doubt.

 


	3. Assistant avaliable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison's place at the bench seems to be not only hers after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I ♥ you!
> 
> Feel free to leave any comments about what you (dis)like or want to read in the future :)! Anything is welcome. I sure will do something with it!

‘Excuse me?’ Benedict blinked and looked around as if he was trying to find something that could be wrong. ‘What is or isn’t possible?’

‘Excuse you, yes!’ she exclaimed as she bounced off the bench. With her fingers she tried to pull her blonde curls away from her face. Her cheeks got dark red and something in her eyes changed from loyal to furious.  
‘No-one -and when I say no-one, I literally mean no-one- has ever been here before except for me,’ she paused to take a breath. ‘How in hell did you find this place? Don’t even dare to lie, I will fucking tear you.’ Her eyes widened even more. The soft look she had the other night totally disappeared and he knew she was serious business.

‘Whoa there,’ Benedict gazed at her face. He wasn’t sure what to tell her, since he wasn’t sure about the way she would react. But, after all, being honest was always the best thing to do. Her threaten wasn’t the kindest one either.  
‘I saw you taking a coffee and just when I wanted to greet you, you walked away,’ he said while standing up from the bench. He took her shoulders in his hands. ‘So, I thought, why not going after you? We were having a rather delightful conversation, the other night.’ He hesitated before saying the last sentence.

‘Oh, please,’ she sighed and looked up to immediately meet his eyes. ‘Nice to know you’re a stalker, then. Please guarantee me to leave me alone as I am trying to find peace in one of the few places in London where it is still possible to be on your own. Just, don’t. Now will you excuse me.’ She slipped away while her eyes softened again.

‘I… I didn’t know about that. Sorry, really, that wasn’t my intention at all. I just thought well, erm…’

‘I guess you just frightened me. I never see someone here. Sorry for being a total bitch.’ She grimaced. She might as well acted a bit too aggresive, it wasn't like she owned this place or something. Though she just didn't expect to meet anyone nearby the old bench in the abandoned nook in the park. Not to speak of that anyone being Benedict Cumberbatch!

‘It’s alright,’ he said while their eyes met again. He realised she just went back to ordinary: sweet, loyal eyes, rosy cheeks and a beautiful smile appeared back on her face. Yet, that wasn’t ordinary for him. It was, in fact, just the opposite. She was the very definition of extraordinary in a very good way. ‘So… you mind taking another coffee?’ He tilted his head a bit, smiling.

‘Benedict,’ she sighed. ‘Being such the smart detective as you are, you probably already know I am a PA, huh? Since I don’t know whether Mr Lawson has persuaded you last night to join the company, I don’t think this is such a marvellous idea. That would be extremely unprofessional, don’t you think?’ _Oh shoot, why was she doing this to herself? Who in hell would reject a man like this?_ His ocean blue eyes widened because of the rejection and she sunk in them once again.

‘No no, not at all,’ he exclaimed. ‘I don’t even know what you are talking about. Who may Mr Lawson be? He sounds like a lawyer.’ The last words were being pronounced with slight sarcasm.

‘For god’s sake Benedict,’ she laughed. At first, only the corners of her mouth started to bend, but shortly after she showed her teeth and little twinkles appeared in her eyes. She almost couldn’t contain herself and she placed her hands on her mouth to maintain the giggles.

Poor Benedict just stood there, gazing at the beautiful, laughing women. He frowned his eyebrows, did a step back and looked interrogatively at the giggling Madison.

‘What in hell?’ he murmured.

‘Oh please, Benedict,’ she sighed, wiping of the upcoming tears in her eyes. ‘I thought you were a great actor. One of the biggest in Britain, am I right?’

Benedict still looked at her if she just came back from death.

‘You were really going to tell me Mr Lawson hasn’t persuaded you? _Seriously_? You might consider talking to me with closed eyes from now on because you can’t seem to have control over yours,’ she laughed again. ‘Eyes, after all, really are an open soul. In your case a lying soul, though.’

He finally understood and smirked. That woman really was one big surprise. First the way she walked away from him the other night, how she had just left him, twice even, and now this.

‘Fine, fine,’ he cried. ‘Yes, your boss might as well persuaded me. But that certainly doesn’t mean we can’t just get a drink or something. You are a very interesting women, you know.’

‘Goodbye Mr Cumberbatch,’ she turned. ‘I’m sure we’ll meet again’.  
Yet again she walked away, again he watched her leaving and again he was flabbergasted. No women had ever turned him on like this.

* * *

He walked his way to his apartment. It still was very hot outside, despite the fact that it was august already. For him, august felt like the Sunday of summer. He didn’t know why, it just was without any decent reason. It just was, just like Madison a beautiful women was.

‘So she is a PA, then,’ he murmured to himself as he opened his apartment. It was such a mess inside. Books, magazines and leftover food covered the light wooden parquet, while every inch of his furniture was covered with dirty laundry. A sigh slipped from his mouth, as he realised what an unorganised wastrel he was. But well, he had a busy schedule after all.

As he fetched himself a drink and settled himself on the couch, an idea popped up his mind. The thought of being so unorganised made him think, and while he obviously wasn’t able to get Madison out of his head, a light bulb had clicked on. If she didn’t want to see him, then it had to happen _accidentally_.  
‘Marvellous!’ he exclaimed as he jumped off the couch to find his laptop somewhere under a pile of old LP’s.

He soon found the card of Mr Lawson in his jacket he wore the other night. The card was the very same blue as the eyes of Madison had been. It felt like some sort of extra sign, which made him even more sure about this. He knew he actually had to talk about this with his agent, but he didn’t care.  
The laptop turned on and he opened Gmail.

_To: deerateelawson@personaldeerateeassistant.com_   
_Subject: PA_

_Mr Lawson,_   
  
_Via this mail I would like to inform I am in need of a PA anytime soon. As hectic as life gets sometimes, I think your company offers me a great opportunity._

_Hope to hear from you soon._

_Scenery,_   
_B. Cumberbatch_

He smirked. He actually really was acting awfully, though there was no way back now. Within minutes, he received an e-mail back.

_Mr Cumberbatch,_

_We are delighted to hear you have chosen for our company. At the moment we have 3 PA’s who are eligible for the position. I suggest you to interview them at your earliest convenience._   
  
_Scenery,_   
_D. Lawson – head of personaldeerateeassistant_

After a few e-mails the date was set. He received the names of the three subordinates, of which one was a man, named David Langley, and two a woman. The first woman was named Lara Baskerville and the second... Madison Belammy. _Hmm_ , he liked the sound of that name. _Madison Bellamy_. It sounded like a perfect human-being, slightly witty and provocative, though very feminine. It sounded exactly like the Madison he had met the other night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to leave a comment.
> 
> I know this chapter was quite short, but to me it felt like done.


	4. Pathetic though splendid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You guys are going to like this chapter, I guess. *smirks*
> 
> Please feel free to comment! I'd love to hear things from you guys!

Benedict Cumberbatch was so stunning. So freaking stunning. His high cheekbones, his ocean blue eyes, his lips, not to speak of his cupids bow… she could come up with a billion of other features that made him so extraordinary wonderful. Yet, she was determined not to be seduced by him. It would be ridiculous considering he would be some sort of ‘colleague’ of hers, if he needed a PA.

A sudden noise of her computer made her stop thinking. It was the sound of a new email.

_Dear miss Parson,_

_Via this e-mail we would like to invite you for an interview,  related to the future personal assistant of Benedict Cumberbatch. The interview will take place on Friday the 14 th of February, 12 o’clock. Details can be found in the attachment._

_Kind regards,  
D. Lawson – head of personalDTRassistant_

She read the e-mail again and again and again. As she squinted her eyes, she jumped off her chair and screamed while she ran through her apartment, destroying everything on her way.  
‘Fucking asshole! The fucking asshole he is!’ she bawled. ‘Does he fucking think he owns me? Well, Mr fucking Cumberbatch, you do not. Freaking prat!’ Blood run faster through her brains and because of her furiousness, she threw the closest object she could find to a wall.  
‘Fucking crazy that guy is. I told him to beck off, I don’t care I actually think he’s fucking cute, I don’t fucking care. He can’t just do this, I’m not his child! Who do you think you are, asshole?’  
She always had her pride. He certainly shouldn’t have messed with her pride.

As she started to calm down again, she realised his number was revealed in his attachment. Without thinking about the consequences, she turned on her phone and started typing.

_Seriously, Mr Cumberbatch? Are you fucking kidding me? God, you’re pathetic. I told you to beck off, remember? That also indicates me not being your PA. Fuck you, Benedict. – Madison._

She being so angry at the park that morning might have been a little too much from her side, but this certainly was too much of his. He really did cross the border now.  
Within seconds, she received a message back.

 _As in fucking me figuratively or literally… or both? – Benedict_  
  
Oh my fucking god, did he actually thought this was funny? She replied instantly.

_Go fuck yourself, sir. – Madison_

‘There you go, asshole,’ she murmured. ‘That's for being the great loser you are.’

_Ah, I see. You’re indeed very hard to get. – Benedict_

What in hell? Did he just think she was playing hard to get? Could this even be more pathetic?

_Oh god you’re so pathetic. – Madison_

He certainly spoiled his changes now.

_Please, could we discuss this face to face? – Benedict_

Alright, maybe not. Let’s give him a go. To be honest, she really did wonder what he had to say. _Ugh_ , why couldn't her heart ever accept her brain?

_You’re lucky I don’t feel like wasting my money on irrelevant text messages to useless people. Bench, 3 o’clock. – Madison_

* * *

She expected to be on her own, arriving ten minutes early. Though, it seemed Benedict was a little  _too_ early.

‘So,’ she said. ‘What is so important for Mr Arrogant meeting me here?’ She looked in his eyes. They were friendly, rather shocked, but still really splendid. _Don’t sink in them, don’t sink._

He bounced off the bench. Remarkable enough, he was very athletic. That wasn’t something you would expect from such a slender, tall man. As he walked towards her, he ruffled his fingers through his hair and pulled up his trousers.  
 _Don’t let him persuade you. You have your pride. Don’t do it._ She fumbled with the tucks of her white, lace dress. From on her waist to her neck, the fabric covered her porcelain skin really tight, showing the exact shape of her body, while it flared from on her waist. It was a beautiful dress, very feminine and detailed.

‘Mr Arrogant wanted to talk to you,’ he chuckled. ‘In fact, he also wants to do other things, but he assumes he might receive a slap for that.’

‘Have you ever considered multiple slaps?’ she replied, nonchalant. ‘You quite deserve them, after all.’

He looked up, amazed by what the women just said to her. ‘Multiple slaps, you say?’

‘Multiple slaps, yes,’ she proceeded. ‘Let's say three for not leaving me alone, two for actually thinking I was going to be your PA, another five for being such an arrogant asshole and yet another two for…’ she hesitated. ‘… for still being cute.’  
 _No! Why did she have to say the last thing? It made her look vulnerable and ready to be persuaded by him. God, no._

‘I take that as a compliment,’ he grimaced looking very patient from the outside, while he sure was not. He squinted his eyes. ‘I must confess you forgot to slap me for trying to kiss you.’

‘You really do think you can get anything you want, huh?’ she said, trying to still look nonchalant. It was a bit more difficult now. _Kiss her? Oh god, yes please.  
_ Though, the sensible part in her made her go back to her own point of view again: she would not fall for Benedict. Not for his cheeky messages she actually quite enjoyed, not for his eyes and not for his cheekbones either. Also, not for his lips, not for his beautiful curls… _oh my god, where was this going?_ _She had to stop this. Yes, it was unprofessional, yet ridiculous since he was a fucking mutt, after all._

‘You think so?’, he did a step closer.

‘Fuck off, Benedict!’ she exclaimed. ‘Leave. Me. Alone. Whatever naughty thing you do, I will slap you. Whatever the fuck you do, I don’t care. I am not going to be your PA in any way possible, not going to be your flirt either. Just stop doing that.’  
 _Yes, this was right. No more affection._

‘I don’t want you to be my flirt,’ he said, looking her in the eyes again. ‘Not just a flirt, I want to get to know you. I have never met anyone as wonderful as you are. The first time I met you, your brown silk dress, rosy cheeks: you’re splendid.’ He did another step closer and was only a few inches away from her.

_No, no, no! Why!? Why did he have to do this to her? Why did she have to fall for his charm? She had made things very clear, yet he didn’t accept her choice: this was unfair!_

‘And you thought that was a good reason to just turn me into your PA?’ she said. _No, she wasn’t going to do this. Not just because it wasn’t unprofessional: she also had her pride now. Pride conquered everything, even Benedict._

‘Kind of,’ he murmured.

Another step closer.

‘Don’t you dare,’ she exclaimed. ‘I will fucking slap you. Don’t underestimate my strength, Mr Cumberbatch.’

‘Oh, girl, I certainly do not.’

As he out spoke the last word, he wrapped his arm around her waist, tilted her back and kissed her hard. He kissed her warm, soft lips. He kissed her with no mercy, holding her face with one hand, while keeping her balanced with the other. His lips covered hers, first just touching, but then opening as their tongues mingled together. He moaned.  
Never had he kissed like this before, never had he fancied a woman like this before. She was amazing.


	5. Passionate emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison shows her weak side, revealing all of her emotions. Though, because of her struggles, she just can't explain it, since she doesn't know all answers herself either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, please reply and let me know what you think about this!

He kissed her. He kissed her with passion.

Her head was being hold by his loveable hand, while another hand grabbed her firmly by the waist. Their soft lips touched again and again, tongues mingled playfully, eyes closed. She had instantly wrapped her hands around his neck, causing them to be even less far apart. It felt amazing, so incredible good.   
Never had she kissed like this before, never had she met such a truly wonderful human-being.

After minutes that felt like hours, maybe days or more like weeks, she suddenly opened her eyes. Benedict still was kissing her, eyes closed, now standing right-up again which allowed both of his hands to go through her long, blonde curls. He cherished her, kissed her, loved her. He was wonderful, gorgeous even, though the haze of love started to disappear off her mind. She suddenly stopped, severely breathing because of the lack of oxygen.

All of a sudden, a burning pain on his cheek made him startle. As he looked up, terrified, he realised who to blame it for. The sudden hit dragged him away from his loom, back to reality. Back to the bench in the abandoned nook of the old park in London. Back to a furious Madison.  
  
‘I… I don’t… I want you to…,’ she tripped over her own words. Even being the strong women as she was, she wasn’t able not to be intimidated by the wonderful kiss, the love of this one gorgeous man. ‘… you are… for fuck’s sake Benedict!’

Another slap.

His hand instantly touched his cheeks, rubbing over the soft, red skin. He didn't care at all. She was so beautiful. Her curls hanging loosely on her shoulders, her lips, her perfect personality, not to speak of the dress she had chosen to wear. The white dress really did show what a good figure she had.

‘I erm… I,’ neither Benedict knew what to say. ‘I guess I really did underestimate your strength, sorry.’

Her eyes widened, almost spitting fire. She looked at him with the most furious,  mortal glance he had ever seen.

Another slap

‘You deserve quite a thousand of these,’ she exclaimed, while she did a few steps back. She really was furious now.  _Seriously? Was he fucking with her again, even now he did this to her against her will? He had, afer all, dragged her into this.  
_ Despite her furiousness, she suddenly appeared very sad. Her eyes filled with tears, as she realised what he was doing to her and a few drops wiggled over her cheeks. She had never cried in company of someone else before. Emotions weren’t able to be hold as she started to cry and cry, not taking care about anything what happened around her. _  
_She wanted to run away, run away to a place no-one knew, to a place she didn’t even know herself. She would run away until her feet couldn’t bare it anymore, run away until she reached the point of flying. She would fly away, far, far away to a place where everything was the way it was supposed to be. Away, to a place where there was no Mr Lawson, no work, no nothing. Nothing that was going to hold her back from Benedict. To a place where she was able to be her own. A place no-one knew. _A non-existing place._

‘Oh my god,’ Benedict expressed, amazed by the beautiful woman that was now crying. Yet again he saw another part of her. This one, though, was vulnerable: it was a little, innocent girl who was in need of help. He felt the urge to be that person, the person who was the one to get her out of trouble and make her smile again.  
With both of his strong arms, he gently pushed her back on the bench, settled himself next to her and put his arms around her body. ‘I am so sorry,’ he whispered, kissing her hair. ‘How can I make this up to you? I am so, so incredible sorry Madison, I am…’

She didn’t let him finish his sentence. As she lay in his strong, warm arms, it felt a bit like the warm embrace from the wind she had received before the party the night back. It felt so extremely good, so loving, so caring, so like the part she was missing and chasing after whole her life.   
Again, her eyes met his. They were beautiful, caring.  
‘It is not your fault,’ she whispered, while she took his hand. ‘I am lost, Benedict. I am lost in a world of pride, lost in a world of mercy, work, love… I just can’t handle it anymore.’   
Taking a deep breath, she proceeded. Finally she was going to reveal her thoughts, to him. It felt like necessary; it felt good.   
‘I… I just don’t understand myself either, Benedict. Never have I felt this way before, but I just don’t understand what is happening to me right now. I need time, just… I know I am going to lose my job if I will ever accept this, you. Mr Lawson will never approve this, but this job is all I have: it offers me friendship, warmth: I love it so much and I can’t let you ruin it. I can’t. I can’t let your beautiful smile, your splendid eyes, your loving personality… I can’t. I’m so sorry, I want to but I can’t.’

‘Madison... dear Madison,’ he pulled her a little closer and hugged her tighter. ‘You really don’t have any idea what you do to me. I am willing to understand, but you… you are perfect, Madison. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. It’s just… I am sorry I crossed the line. I know I have, but It wasn’t my intention, please, believe me, please...’

With his thumb he gently wiped off the tears falling down on her cheeks and kissed the places they had fallen. All he did was trying to kiss away her pain, hoping she would be willing to accept.

* * *

Classical music filled the apartment room as she laid in her bed. It was a splendid, inspiring melody and it had been the same one that was played during the party. The soft fabric of the white, fuzzy blanket covered her shivering body, while she stared at the blank wall for ages. Thousands of thoughts appeared in her head, not willing to leave her alone for the next few decades.

_You love him._

_Tell him._

Though, another part of her was fighting back. It was as if an angel and devil both did their talk, convincing her to choose one of their sides. It didn’t matter how bad she wanted, how bad she tried, but she wasn’t able to choose. Not now she didn’t know who the angel was.

_You will lose your job._

_Mr Lawson will never approve_

_You’re a disgrace_

_No-one will love you, Benedict neither, once you will reveal the true you_

Her thoughts were making her mad. She felt like screaming and crying at the same time, escaping from the reality where her mind was getting her crazy. She didn’t understand herself: why was she creating this problem? Why couldn’t she just act ordinary?   
Though, yet again she wasn’t able to answer this. She just didn’t know.

A few moments later, she fell asleep.

* * *

A big man was coming nearer, chasing after her, getting her, taking her. She wasn’t able to run away, nor escape, as her feet were bonded to the hard, stone ground. It didn’t matter how much she tried: her legs didn’t move an inch and blockaded her abscond. 

She screamed, but no-one could hear her. She shouted, but no-one took care. She cried, but no-one consoled. As she mowed with her hands through the air, the man was coming closer. He slapped her, kicked her; humiliated her. But she couldn’t say anything back, as one, final, last smack reverberated on her body. She tried to breath, but her longs felt like dissolving, disintegrating into a darkness of blinded love.

'Nooo!'  
'No... nooo! Stop it no!'

  
She woke up crying, wet of transpiration while her whole body shivered because of the nightmare she had. Despite the fact that it was only 4 in the afternoon, it felt like the dead of the night. With a trembled breath, she took her phone. An unread message of Benedict popped up on her screen.

_Are you alright? Please, is there anything I can do for you? I feel so terrible sorry, Madison, I have never wanted this. I didn’t expect such an innocent, little girl behind your gorgeous smile, not ready for this. I wasn’t aware of the fact that you would lose your precious job. I am so sorry, just please tell me you’re alright. – Benedict_

She cried again.

_You’re the best, Benedict. You’re not the one to blame. I guess I am just a little, maybe a lot, lost. I am being such a drama queen, sorry about that. Please don’t feel like you are the one to take responsibility. – Madison_

She really hated herself for being such a arse, while Benedict still remained calm and lovely. She really hated the fact that she didn’t even understand herself for what she was doing. Though, she just couldn’t help it.

_But I do. – Benedict_

In between her tears, she smiled.

_You’re a very good person, Benedict, you should know that. – Madison_

* * *

How could she ever be so heartbroken, strong and sweet at the same time? Who would  have ever expected to see this lovely girl behind that splendid woman he had met at the party. She seemed so strong, so confident and yet she was not. He liked her so much, not willing to ever stop fighting for her. He felt responsible to help her find the real Madison again and it didn’t matter what she thought about that. Never in his life he had felt such a strong connection, and he couldn’t care less she was such a mess deep inside.

He typed another message.

_You’re an even better person, though you still need to accept that. – Benedict_

She really was, she was the most honest, loyal person he had ever seen. Her eyes, as she described as the mirror of the soul, certainly proved that.  
Not long later, he received a message back.

_Thank you. – Madison_

He knew she didn’t believe him.

_Once, you will.  
Are you sure there isn’t something I can do for you? Anything? – Benedict_

The stubborn women she was.

_Why are you doing this? Why would you help me? – Madison_

He sighed.

_Because I care, Madison, I care. - Benedict_


	6. A beautiful nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for not updating in a while. I don't know if anyone was waiting for it, but if you did, my apologies. I really do hope you like this chapter though.

She cried, reading his message. She couldn’t believe he, Benedict Cumberbatch, one of the most desired actors at the moment, would care about her. Not to speak of her strange behaviour. Why in hell did she have to make such big problems about such small things? If she wouldn’t want to lose her job, she simply had to see Benedict as a friend. End of story.  
And yet, it was the most difficult thing she had ever experienced in her existence. She had always been a doubter, a very big one, really. It didn’t matter how big or small the problem was: she would always be in doubt, just like she did now. Though, this time it was different, stronger.

_You do? – Madison_

She needed some sort of confirmation. Some sort of confirmation, to prove she was right: she wasn’t the elected girl. She wasn’t _the one_.  
While she was typing it, she suddenly felt really ill. It was probably due to the business party she had attended the other day. There were lots and lots of people there, which was the best place for bacteria to spread.

_Madison, yes, I do. I swear. Please, how are you? Are you alright? – Benedict_

Her head suddenly felt very heavy, as if a little creature was hitting the inside of her head with a hammer. It made her feel sick and disgusted all in once. All she wanted to do now was to disappear for the time being. Disappear from all of her problems she was creating her very self.  
Benedict was the sweetest guy she had ever met. He was so humble, so sweet, caring.  She absolutely didn’t deserve that.

_Thank you so much, really. I am alright yes, besides from being slightly ill. I guess it’s due to the party. – Madison_

She certainly didn’t expect the message she received just a few seconds later.

_Let me bring you some groceries and other stuff. Where do you live? – Benedict_

With even more tears in her eyes, she read the message again and again. Why did she have to be such an emotional wreck all the time?

_No, I’m doing fine. You really don’t need to. – Madison_

It was so weird: she had been acting so casually and rather fun around him, that night. She always did, she was known for that. And then there was Benedict. Sweet, sweet Benedict, the first person in the whole world that had seen her cry despite her parents. The first person in the entire universe that was able to look right through her.

_I insist. In fact, I just bought some things. – Benedict_

‘Well then,’ she sighed, a weak smile appearing through her tears. After some more text messages and sharing her address, she waited for him to press her doorbell.

* * *

After a few moments, he actually was there. With a gentle, short press, he pressed the doorbell. Within seconds, she opened.

There he was. Lovely, charming Benedict in her doorstep with a bunch of groceries in a big, plastic bag, which was almost going to crack open because of the fullness, as she did a step back to let him enter her apartment. It was a lovely, cosy apartment with lots of space. Her windows ensured a wonderful view on the nearby park, giving the living room a welcoming view. There was a big armchair right in the corner with a very large bookcase full of different kind of books beside it.  
The apartment was splendid, welcoming and cosy: truly perfect. But, for now, Benedict didn’t care.

‘Are you alright?’ with one hand he grabbed her waist to pull her closer, as his other one gently touched her forehead. ‘Good lord, you’re warm! You really are ill! Please do lay on the couch.’ Very caring, he guided her towards her couch, gently pressing her down and situating himself near her.  
‘So, I have bought you some fruit, aspirins, tea and those little throat sweets, you know?’ he smiled as he put a hand on her shoulder. ‘I didn’t know whether you were having a sore throat or not, but I couldn’t resist, they’re so delicious. I’m addicted, I must admit.’

With hazy eyes, she made eye contact. Once again, she sunk into his gorgeous, loyal eyes. Once again, she was being carried away by his sweetness. But she didn’t care anymore. She was going to do this, at least try. Her work wasn’t supposed to affect her personal life.  
‘You’re the sweetest,’ she smiled as she put her head on his shoulder. ‘Thank you, you really didn’t have to…’ she couldn’t end her sentence as Benedict interrupted her.  
‘Stop that, I don’t care if I should or should not. I want to. That’s all that matters.’ He stroked her arm, plotting a gentle kiss on her forehead. ‘So, would you like some tea?’

‘Let me,’ she protested, as Benedict stood up from the couch to find a kettle somewhere in the kitchen. Though, as she stood up and walked in the direction of the counter, she suddenly felt enormously dizzy. The living room was spinning around her and soon Benedict was also, as he ran towards her to grab her firmly.  
‘Madison?’ he exclaimed, trying to make eye contact. ‘Madison what is happening?’

She couldn’t answer. As his words flew into her ears, her eyes shut, making the world all blank. It was the very same blank as the dream she had earlier. The dream were she was chased after by a big, awful man. A man that resembled the devil.  
As her muscles weakened, so did her mind. She couldn’t think anymore, though she was able to see. And all she could see was the man again. She tried to scream, yet again no-one could hear her. She shouted, yet again no-one took care. She cried, yet again no-one consoled. But this time, as she mowed with her hands through the air, falling into eternity, there was a slight difference. This time, there were two firm hands around her, preventing her from falling down. Two big, firm hands, protecting her in both dreams and reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not mind hearing any suggestions :)! In fact, I'd love to!


	7. Never ending universe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the lovely comments! I love you!

_A few hours later._

Everything was blank, everything was empty, clear and dark. She felt dizzy and weird: not like herself, the always smiling Madison. The girl that had always been happy, yet not anymore. The girl who’s walls had finally been broken.  
As she tried to move, the darkness started turning around her, soon resembling a twirling universe as bright stars flew around her with a higher speed than imaginary possible. While stroking her hair and touching her limbs, the stars, just like the lightning decorations there had been on the white ceiling of the business party, whizzed around her, across her, along her.  
For some reason, they were warm and caring. With gentle touches, the little fireballs cupped her face, murmuring calming words inside her ear. They embraced her, creating a soft blanket to protect her from everything and nothing, all in once. They embraced her like the sun had done when she would sit on the bench on a late summer evening.  
‘It’s alright,’ a voice, as magnificent as the most beautiful melody, sang above her. It was vague, slightly familiar. The voice touched her ears, nurturing her mind. ‘It’s alright, you are safe with me.’

 _Me_.  
At that very moment, a big arrow perforated the sight of the stars in the never ending universe. It ripped open the darkness, causing the brightest light to catch her sight. Yet again everything was blank, though this time it was not dark, but just the opposite: the absolute most touching light.  
After a moment that felt like an eternity, she suddenly realised she was back again. Her eyes palpated her living room, first only able to distinguish large, blurry objects, but soon she was able to see fully again.

‘You’re back,’ a sudden, low voice whispered. ‘You’re back!’

It was the very same voice as the little fireballs, the stars in the never ending universe, as the one that had nurtured her mind. It was the very same voice as Benedict’s.

‘You’re it,’ with the greatest effort, she tried to move her lips. ‘The… stars.’  
Whatever she did, she wasn’t able to fully express herself, to tell him how she felt. She felt miserable as she wasn't able to hug him, be close to him, to lay in his protective arms.

‘Go back to sleep dear,’ very gentle, he plotted a soft, butterfly kiss on her forehead. ‘I’ll be there.’  
And with those careful words, she fell asleep again. This time, though, she went to a paradise, filled with love.

* * *

After a very long time, she finally woke up. She sighed, while her eyes were trying to get used to the bright light, peeking through her cream coloured curtains that blinded her sight of the park. It didn’t take much to remember what had recently happened. She remembered being ill, Benedict standing in her hallway, guiding her towards the couch. She remembered him showing her the groceries, making some tea, but that’s where it stopped. From on there, everything was blank, except for the stars. The stars that had resembled Benedict.

 _Benedict_.  
 _Where was he?_  
With very much trouble, she tried to pull her body up from the couch, allowing her a view of the living room. While she was attempting, though, a stabbing pain flashed through her head. But before she could fall down, there were those two big, firm hands again.  
  
‘How are you?’ he whispered, gently stroking her hair and putting her back on the soft couch again. ‘You have been sleeping for one day straight.’ He smiled at her, causing their eyes to meet. Yet again his eyes transmitted love and care.

‘I did?’ with a questioning look, she snuggled closer to him. He had situated himself near her, making sure she was comfortable. His cologne was as strong as it had been at the party: spicy yet sweet.  
‘I’m so very sorry.’  
  
‘Don’t be,’ he said, shushing her. With careful touch, he pulled her closer. ‘It’s not your fault, just believe me for once, please.’ He put his strong, protecting arms around her schoulders before he proceeded.  
‘I have called a doctor while you were asleep. He told me you were having a flu that has been flowing around lately. It’s quite a bad one, but you’ve experienced the worse part now. I also have some medicines for you, you will need to take them twice a day.’

She cried. Tears were streaming down her cheekbones, rolling over her chin and landing on the couch. This time, though, the tears were not because of utter miser. This time, the tears resembled a mixed emotion consisting of hope, love and confuse. Benedict was truly the most wonderful person she had ever met. Even after such a small time, she could easily feel it. He was the only person in the world that had ever been able to destroy the walls around her.  
‘Thank you,’ she cried, softly, as Benedict gently swept his thumb across her cheek to brush the tears way. ‘Thank you so much. You are wonderful, you are the most marvellous, beautiful person I have ever met, truly.’

He smiled, showing her the most genuine, splendid smile she had ever seen in her entire life. His eyes showed little sparks as he leaned over to plot a kiss on her hair.  
‘You’re most welcome, Madison. I mean that.’  
She really was the most remarkable thing that had ever happened to enter his life. The way she acted on the party, all lovely and casual, and now this. He had experienced the current real Madison in a very short period of time, though he felt like this still wasn’t the real her. He was sure about the fact that she actually really was a wonderful, loving person who always tried to cheer people up. Though now, she was lost in her own little word. He would help her to get out of that. Her, Madison, the sweetest, most wonderful and interesting woman he had ever met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS  
> Next chapter I am going to reveal why Madison is so... insecure. It has to do with something that happened in the past. Do you have any suggestions/ideas for what happened there?


	8. My sunshine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, before you are going to read this: this is the very first time I changed my story into something so intimidating. I am not sure whether I am going to keep this chapter, because it's really... intruding, I think.  
> So, with very much hope, I would like to ask you, as a reader, to let me know what you think about this. Please, please be honest. There may be a chance I am going to delete this chapter and start the chapter all over again.  
> Just see this as a kind of trial. 
> 
> If I do delete this chapter, I will of course let it know.

Without thinking, she shifted closer to him, pulling in him the tightest hug she had ever given someone. As she put her head on his chest, she felt his heart beating. It was very calming, truly comforting her.  
‘I really think you owe me an explanation,’ she whispered, as she looked up through her lashes to meet his eyes. She finally felt as if she was able to be herself again, after such a long time of pretending to be someone else. ‘You deserve that.’

He gently took her hand, stroking it with his thumb as she laid in his arms. ‘You don’t need to, only if you want to,’ he replied with the softest tone. ‘No pressure.’

‘Alright,’ she swallowed, pinching his hand as some sort of conformation. ‘This might as well take a while.’

* * *

After literally two full hours of talking, she finally ended her sentence. She finally let her past behind her, finally revealing the real version of herself.  
All the time she was talking, Benedict had looked at her, understanding, supporting. He had nodded, pinched her hand as things were getting emotional, hugging her when she cried.   
She had told him about everything. Literally everything, all her life, every little thing. She had told him about her being a little girl, running through the warm, summer fields. She had told him about the moment she accidentally had dropped one of the antique vases of her mother, trying to buy a new one with the few pennies she had herself. About her old friends, about her home back in the Netherlands, the way she always wanted to become a princess as she grew up. Her first love, the little things she loved in life, the way she always listened to the same song before going to bed. The way she had a weakness for anything sweet, her deepest secrets, her life here in London. But also about things like her beloved job, her favourite ways to spend an afternoon, the tea she preferred, the way she used to handle things. And finally, she told him about the hardest thing she had experienced ever in life. She told him about the girl that would be forever with her. The girl that didn’t make it far in life. Her little, beloved, adopted sister.

‘Asis,’ she had cried, not able to speak for a while as the name of the person she had loved most rolled over her tongue. With a vibrating voice, she had proceeded.  
‘Asis. My beloved, wonderful Asis. My little sunshine.’ She had smiled in between her tears, thinking about the old days she used to spend with her splendid little sister.  
‘Her name means sun in African. She truly was a sun, her joy was as powerful as the warm sunbeams on a hot summer day. She always was able to cheer anyone up, no matter what was wrong. Asis…’ She had paused as she swallowed back a tear. ‘Asis was an African refugee, only six years old. Her parents were murdered during a civil war between two tribes. Her family was very important, really. You could compare it… with the queen over here.’ She had coughed, providing her a little break between her sayings.  
‘After that, me and my family offered to adopt her. From on the first moment we saw her, she was my everything. My… my sunshine when it was dark,’ she hadn’t been able to continue for a minute as she hadn’t been able to hold back her tears. Benedict had pulled her closer, holding her tighter, what had given her enough power to proceed.  
‘By the time, we lived in Spain, near a remote landscape in the middle of nowhere. I… I was home alone when suddenly three of the biggest, most evil men I had ever seen rushed into the house. They were… they were African. I immediately knew what was happening but I… I was too late, I couldn’t help it I truly couldn’t I…’  
‘Shhh,’ Benedict had shushed her pulling her even more closer. With tears in his eyes, he had listened to her story. It had been the most touching, awful story he had ever heard and he hadn’t even heard the end of it. Madison, the lovely, smiling girl he met at the party, having such a terrible past. ‘You couldn’t, Madison. It’s alright.’  
‘But…,’ she had cried even harder, causing her to get out of breath. Her voice had shivered even more, she had suddenly felt really cold and ill again.  
‘But I… I can’t! I will never forget, how they… they… the men… stealing Asis’ life. Stealing! They stole her life, they stole the life of the most loving, little girl. They stole it! They can’t they… they,’ she had shouted now, still not accepting the loss.  
‘Shhh,’ with watered eyes, he had again pinched her hand. He had stroked her hair, kissed the places where her tears had rolled down, held her. ‘Shhh.’  
They had been laying like this for a few minutes, not saying anything, only hearing an occasional sob from Madison, as Benedict kissed her hair again in reaction.  
  
After two hours, she finally ended her story.  
‘I will always love her.’  
And then, she fell asleep again, in his loving, caring arms.

* * *

After a good amount of time, she slowly opened her eyes, seeing Benedict preparing breakfast. He was just pouring in some tea when he noticed her.

‘Darling,’ he said, approaching her gently, not sure about how she would react. She could still be very emotional, maybe angry even, or she could be relieved. Relieved about finally destroying the last brick around her.  
‘Are you... are you hungry? You haven’t eaten for two days straight, counting the day you passed out with, constantly sleeping like an angel.’  
  
After she heard what he said, she suddenly felt her stomach rumbling. Because of all the emotions, she totally forgot about the fact that she actually had to eat.  
‘Yes, in fact, I’m starving!’

Benedict released a relieving sigh as he noticed she felt the latter now. She was finally somehow contented, being able to give it all a place.  
‘Come here, then,’ he extended his hand, inviting Madison to join him at the breakfast table. As his other hand grabbed her waist firmly, he guided her to the dining area, making sure to take little steps as she still was very weak. ‘There you go,’ he smiled, as she settled herself on the comfortable chair, reaching for a sandwich.

As she took little bites of her sandwich, Benedict looked her straight in her loyal, blue eyes. They were pure, they showed love and somewhere, he saw a slight sign of happiness.  
‘I just wanted to say…,’ he sighed and took her hand before he proceeded. ‘Thank you for revealing the true you. You are the most genuine person I have ever met and I am sure somewhere, Asis will be proud of you.’

She closed her eyes, pinching his hand as she gently smiled.  
‘I have never told anyone outside my family before. It felt good. Thank you, for being here. For listening. I’m quite sure things will get better for me now.’

Suddenly, a different kind of glow appeared on her face. The exact same glow as she had on the party, though this time, it was real. It was pure.


	9. No mercy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madison is becoming the real version of herself again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading/kudos/replying you guys can make my day!  
> I hope you like this chapter, it is a bit... fluffy might I say.
> 
> Also, I would like to announce that from now on, it is very easy for me to indicate any suggestions of how you want the story to develop, since Madison is pretty much 'healed' now. They can do lots and lots of things now together, which you can suggest down below :)!  
> Of course I am going to stick to the Lawson-is-never-going-to-approve-this thing, but that will come back later.

The most genuine, enthusiastic and above all most lovely smile had appeared on her face. Both her greyish blue eyes twinkled along, stating the pureness of it all. Yet again, he had never seen such a beautiful smile before and he was sure Madison was being the real her, finally embracing all of her perfect imperfections.  
Just, looking at her eyes already made him feel wobbly inside.

‘So,’ she said, letting go of his hand to stroke it through her honey blonde hair. She looked exquisite, even when she still was slightly ill from the two days before.  
‘I think there’s one more thing for us to discuss, don’t you think? I mean, it kind of made me upset, last time you mentioned it.’  
  
Their eyes met again, causing a slight electrical feeling to appear in the room. He noticed she was already able to express herself better, letting know how she really felt, unlike she did before. It was amazing to experience what just one, good conversation could do.  
‘I know. I shouldn’t have done it in the first place, I know. It’s just…’ he paused a while, trying to search for the right words. ‘I, first of all, wanted to get in touch with you again.’  
She smirked at him, realising what he just said.  
‘But… I…,’ he continued his haze of words. Now he was the one not being able to fully express himself, the one not sure what he was doing himself either. Though, on the contrary, deep in his heart he knew why: he fancied her. In fact, he kind of loved her already.  
‘I swear, I really swear on this…,’ he stopped a while, his eyes searching over the table to find something to vow his feelings on. After a few moments, his eyes dropped to find a vase of light pink, lovely smelling tulips. He took one of the flowers out of the vase and gave it to her as he continued his ceremony with a deliberately posh tone.  
‘I swear, on this beautiful, eccentric, living flower, with my solemn loyalty, that I am indeed in need of a personal assistant,’ he cleared his throat as he proceeded with his normal voice, to state the seriousness of the case again.  
 ‘To be honest, I can become quite the unordered one, and I think it’s getting more or less too insane right now. You should only need to take a glance at my apartment to conclude I am right.’

‘It’s alright,’ she said, smiling at him to convince him she believed him. She really did. And she honestly was the happiest person on the world right now, secretly knowing he wanted to see her again. She was sure about the fact that he wasn’t really aware of what he just said, probably just blurred it out, but she knew it was true. And she felt the same as well.  
‘Honestly, I can relate.’

With a questioning look, he tilted his head and frowned his eyebrows.

‘I mean…,’ she sighed. ‘I mean I have finally come to my senses. After this, our conversation and just… you, I finally understand myself now. And for that, I’m so incredibly grateful and I owe you the world. But most important, I now know I want to see you again, too. Not just once.’

He had smiled. Smiled and smiled, as the words had whirled through the air, eventually entering is ears and touching his brains to deliver the wonderful news to him. His smile was as lovely, pure and genuine as Madison’s had been and while he came to realisation, he spontaneously stood up, shifted towards her and kissed her forehead followed by the firmest hug he had ever given someone.  
‘I fancy you, Madison,’ he said, stroking one of her curls out of her face. ‘I really do.’

‘I fancy you too, Benedict.’  
Without thinking and fully ignoring the consequences, Madison escaped his hug to turn and face him. As she shifted closer, she slightly bended her head and with no mercy, she pressed her lips on his. Both her arms wrapped around his torso, as he cupped her face with both of his hands, cherishing the skin he covered with his soft, large hands. Their bodies pressed together, exploring every fingerbreadth of their velvet skins as their soft lips brushed against each other, accepting and forgiving. Very slowly, their lips moved, pressing loving, caring butterfly kisses on one another’s. With the most gentle care, he shifted closer and moaned, kissing her upper lip first to then kiss her lower lip very softly, cherishing every second that passed.  
Suddenly, they parted their mouths, both bending forward to deepen the kiss. Their tongues mingled together, caressing, loving every inch of explored novelty. The kiss started to become more heat, fierce, as they both sensed the electricity sparking out of their bodies. Her hands found her way to his curls, stroking through them as Benedict held her even closer.  
After an eternity, they both parted, only because of a lack of oxygen.

‘That was,’ he breathed heavily, looking her straight in her infinite eyes. ‘That was…’

‘Phenomenal,’ she added, terminating his sentence. With a lovely, blushing smile, she looked at him, if only to receive another hot, steamy kiss of him. For the next few hours, they didn't stop. They didn't stop cherising, loving and forgiving each other, as they kissed passionately. They did not stop finally accepting each other, hugging, embracing to show their everlasting affection.  


* * *

It had been three hours after their intimate usurpation, and yet they still couldn't resist the temper of kissing each other occasionally, as they lay snuggling on the couch together, enjoying the view of the London park that was now full of flowers and life due to the spring season. They snuggled up closer to each other, cuddling and embracing as they kept on kissing. 

  
Finally, after all this time, they came back to senses again, and they had another deep, intimate conversation. It was Ben's turn now to tell her about his past, his biggest secrets and his biggest affections. And he sure did.  
He told her everything in detail. He told her about the time when he was a little boy, falling into the ditch as he tried to catch a frog. He had ran home, sodden of water if only to discover there was a tiny little frog on his head, hitched in his hair after he fell into the pond, smirking as he told her so. He told her about home, about his parents, his friendships. About love, acting, the way he liked his food best. His beloved tea, his favourite way to spend an afternoon, the love for his carreer, about how he wanted to become a fireman as he grew up. And eventually, he told her about how he felt when he first saw her. How his stomach had turned, how his head had spinned after seeing her. He told her she was the most beautiful, eccentric woman he had ever met in his entire life, inside and out. He told her how sorry he was at first, after realising how fragile she actually was, but also how proud he was of her now. Not to mention the strong connection he felt between the two of them. But most of all, he made sure she would feel special, loved, as he continued his story and kissed her cheek, very softly.

Lastly, they talked about his need of an assistant. Their conversation kept on flowing naturally, not turning into akwardness as they both discussed the sensitive subject.

‘I will look for another company,’ he said, as he gently kissed her, playing with her hair. She had soft, pretty curls, bouncing around her head. ‘That’s alright, I can do that.’

‘You shouldn’t,’  she kissed his temple and slowly brushed her lips over his skin. It felt so good.  
‘You definitely shouldn’t, there sure is a way to solve this. I mean… I could at least try?’

With that, Benedict bounced up, placing her head between his hands.  
‘Are you saying you actuall do? You do want to try?’

‘Of course,’ she gently smiled, taking his hand into hers. ‘If I haven’t yet tried, I am not the one to make conclusions. And to be honest, I want to try, I really want to.’

It didn’t matter how long or short he knew this woman, deducing by the honesty in her eyes, he knew she was telling the truth.  
And with that, they set the date. They both agreed on the fact that a one month trial won’t do any harm, looking at the case through different eyes. It would’ve only meant they would spend more time together, which was the one thing they both preferred.

‘You are amazing,’ Benedict whispered, as he wrapped both of his arms around her and forced his head into her hair that smelled like coconut. ‘And, you smell like the beach, coconut and summer, which is a plus.’  
   
‘And you, my dear, smell like citrus, sandalwood and a hint of lime, which is also a plus,’ she smirked, burying her face in his neck as she inhaled his scent. ‘Now let’s get lunch, shall we?’ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS  
> Over a 1000 hits OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!


	10. Witty job interview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in a while, I've been rather busy!  
> PS I might as well change some little things, considering I made this chapter relatively fast. I actually didn't have time but I really wanted to update. I will announce my changes next chapter :)!

It had been three days. Three days of pure joy and happiness, ignoring any little thing that might ruin all the things they beloved. They not only had lunch together after their intimate conversation, but every day that came after also. And twice a day, Benedict had to remind Madison to take her medicines, because she was too forgetful herself.

‘Madison!’ he exclaimed, giggling as he finished his last bite of the delicious roasted salmon he was eating, his eyes twinkling of pure joy. Just at the moment she was about to drink all of her water, not leaving any to swallow the medicines with, he smirked. She always forgot to take them, all the very three days they had spend together. Three lovely wonderful days.  
‘Medicines?’ he added.

Abruptly, she put her glass down and groped in her dark brown Kate Spade. It was a rather sophisticated, authentic bag with smooth leather and two firm handles. Obviously, she wasn’t able to find the tablets for her flu at first. She was the most sloppy person he had ever met and he just couldn’t understand how on earth it was able for her to be such a talent in assisting. Maybe she was putting all of her efforts in her job, causing to have a lack of them in daily life.  
As she spread all of her stuff out on the table, sunglasses after wallet, diary after notebook, she finally found the medicines, all the way at the bottom of the bag.  
  
‘Found them, _already_ ,’ she smiled, swallowing the tablets easily with the remaining water to then stuff everything back in her handbag. ‘Thank you again.’

She looked so damn adorable in the lightblue dress she was wearing. It accentuated her hips perfectly, the colour making her skin to glow, resembling an angel.  
‘How in hell can you be an assistant?’ he smirked, bending over to press a kiss on her cheek. They turned slightly pink and a cute blushed appeared on her face again, which reminded him of the first time he had met her. It was the very same blush the moment their eyes met for the first time, the blush that made her even look more beautiful. _If that was even possible.  
_ ‘It kind of looks like I am yours now.’

She giggled, a slight laugh escaping from her lips.  
‘Well then, I guess you prefer being late for the assistant interviews?’

His eyes widened as he glanced at his black omega watch to find out she was right. There were only twenty minutes left and he was supposed to be there on time and most importantly: proper dressed, which was the opposite from what he was wearing right now. His loose trousers and white t-shirt weren’t really suitable clothes for these sort of occasions.

‘Guess I am suitable after all,’ she teased, as she gestured the waiter to pay.  
‘Go, it’s fine, I’ll meet you there.’

‘Thank you.’ He pressed one last, eagerly kiss on her lips before leaving her in the little café where they had lunch all the three days, and hopefully more to come.

* * *

‘Miss Belammy?’ a questioning, deep voice gambled through the little hallway. It was Mr Lawson’s. Her once kind, now awful boss since she was sure he would fire her once he would know about… well, what was it? Relationship?

‘Please do come in.’

She stood up, entering the doorstep of his office with a confident walk. As she entered, she saw Benedict sitting in one of the brown, leather armchairs, wobbling on one foot to the other. He didn’t look nervous, just the opposite, but when he met her eyes he looked quite relieved.  
Remarkably, there was something different, something extra in his bright, light eyes she wasn’t able to place. But before she was actually able to think about that, he gently, very sensually lifted his eyebrows, while a typical sweet Benedict-smirk appeared on his face.  
 _Oh god, that was the extra thing. Right, this was going to be hard._

‘Sit down, sit down,’ Mr Lawson pointed at one of the armchairs opposite to Benedict’s, as he started introducing her to Benedict.  
  
‘Mr Cumberbatch, this is Miss Belammy. She is one of our newest personal assistants but I can guarantee you she belongs to our top employees already.’

‘Oh, of course,’ he made eye contact with her, giving her a short blink. ‘I certainly do believe that.’

 _Good lord, this was witty._  
  
‘So,’ Mr Lawson proceeded. His little beard with a few grey hairs made him look even more older than he actually was. Again he was pulling off the I-am-trying-to-look-wealthy-but-I’m-not-look and she couldn’t believe she hadn’t already puked out of disgrace all this time she had seen him in that suit.  
‘As you might as well expected, I am going to ask you some questions so that Mr Cumberbatch can obtain a factual view of your personality and experience. And sir,’ he took some files out of his drawer as he turned towards Benedict. ‘You can interrupt anytime.’

Benedict smiled, it was a fake smile, though. She could tell it by just looking at his adorable, perfect face. His eyes didn’t twinkle as he nodded his agreement.  
‘Well then, let’s start, shall we?’

‘Right. First of all, Miss Belammy, I’d like you to invite to tell something about yourself before we will proceed with the questions.’

She sat up straighter, stating the obvious. After all, after her mental breakdown she was the strong woman she used to be again. And all credits went to Benedict. Lovely, perfect Benedict, with his strong, embracing arms and warming smile. Splendid, amazing… _right, back to business._  
‘Well, my name is Madison Angeli Belammy, obviously. I am 32 years old and…’ while she coughed, she decided to take a spin on it. _Why the hell not? She would get the job after all._  
‘… and I am like _the_ most organised person in the world. Things like peg numbers, medicines, anything: I won’t forget about them. I will always know where I leave my keys and I am always on time. _’_ Now she was referring to the time they had agreed to meet at their little lunch café. The time she had lost her keys, causing her to arrive 2 hours late. Benedict couldn’t stop laughing as she arrived and considering he always was too late as well, he had laughed even harder.  
‘Perfect couple,’ he had said, brushing his hands over his eyes to get rid of the tears of laughing that wiggled down his face. It was the very first time he had referred to any form of a _us_. The word, the connection she was wondering about. Sure, an actual relationship would be a bit too soon, but so did their first meeting. Not to mention the fact that he was the one and only person that had been able to crush her walls. He was one of the few perons in her life who actually did know her, fully. And that in such a short period of time.

She saw Benedict almost cracking up in the corner of her eye. The little twinkles appeared in his eyes today and his hands moved towards his mouth, as he, chokingly, tried to push his laughter away. Little wrinkles around his eyes appeared.

‘Right, yes,’ Mr Lawson replied, noting things down in his files. He was in upper concentration and didn’t notice anything at all of the ironic situation.  
‘Thank you. Now, first question: where do you see yourself in ten years?’

 _Oh that was a good one._ She and Benedict had been talking about this, the morning after their intimate conversation. At first, before actually answering his questions, she had jokingly responded to him something about a beekeeper.  
‘Oh, what a _wonderful_ question!’ she replied, sarcastically, looking at Benedict while his eyes widened. He sure knew where this was going.  
‘Well, I am going to be really, really honest with that. Yes, so, in ten years I can see myself being a beekeeper in China. I mean, bees are such cute animals, they’re so fluffy and humble, don’t you think?’ She turned around to give Mr Lawson an extravagant smile, who was now clearly struggling with her answers. _Oh yes, did she enjoy this._  
‘Anyway,’ she continued with the biggest smirk on her face as she saw Benedict again trying to temper his laughter.  
‘I can just hear you think, _why China_? That’s totally accurate! I mean, nobody knows about the climate there, really. It’s the perfect bee climate! Oh, and before I answer this question fully, I’d also like to say that I want at least nine chiwawa dogs, seven snakes and two rabbits. Also, I want a pink minicooper because it reminds me of Barbie. Now tell me, who doesn't love Barbie?’

She bended over in a dramatical way, making it a scene. She couldn't care less about her boss now and secretly enjoyed being such an arse for once. An arse that didn't really care about the future encounters with Mr Lawson, though.

‘Um… thank you, that’s about enough,’ Mr Lawson said as he touched his beard with his hand. He always did that whenever he was feeling nervous.

* * *

After around a hour of intimate questions from Mr Lawson’s side, witty answers from Madison’s and almost crack-ups from Benedict’s, Mr Lawson announced his last question. He was feeling rather uncomfortable, judging by his sweat stains in his armpits and the look on his face, due to all the ridicilous answers she was giving and the fact that he was about to end the interview with a rather personal question. Personal coversations weren't -at all- his strongest side. Socialising was something he mastered, but once the conversation would become personal, he would close. He would touch his beard out of nervousness, not being able to stand still and excuse himself for the loo. 

‘Well, before I’d like to end this interview, there’s one last question,’ he said, looking at the varnish of his wooden desk to avoid eye contact.  
‘It is rather personally... um...but very relevant. Well, are you in a... relationship, and if so, in which, well... might I say stage?’

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must admit I am rather stuck right now, so please leave any suggestions! I'd love to include them!  
> For now, I have one thing in mind for another chapter that popped up in my head while eating oreos. Yes, oreos, you read that right, hehe. Now, might I say the oreos are a little hint now ;).
> 
> Anyway, feel free to tell me what you think about this! And again: please leave suggestions!


	11. True colours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea I was talking about in the previous chapter will be happening in next chapter! I felt like I had to write this first.

 

It was as if a hard smash of a sledge hammer brought her back to reality. The reality where her jokes faded away to make room for the truth. The truth, the honesty, the fairness of her life. But what was the truth? Where was she going through? Was her communion with Benedict some sort of resemblance to the jokes she had just made?   
Never had she actually cared about these sort of questions. Occasionally she would have a boyfriend, nothing too serious, and she would brush it off. She acted casually when hearing these kind of questions, casually, just because she really didn’t care. The fact that some people made such drama about these kind of questions was something she had never understood, until now.

With her right hand she started brushing her knee, stating her nervousness. Suddenly, the witty look disappeared off her face and changed into a more concerned, serious look. As she looked up through her lashes to catch a glance of Benedict, to see his reaction, she accidentally met his eyes. She met his green, crystal, beautiful eyes, ocean blue, the mirror of his soul. Deeply, they stared into hers, digging through her, observing. His eyes sent words to her, kind words, caring words. His eyes sent warmth and love. But most of all, his eyes stated the one thing they hadn’t discussed yet: an  _us_.

‘I… I,’ she looked up to break eye contact with Benedict and turned to Mr Lawson. At that very moment, she knew that this, the thing she was going to tell right now, was true. It was what they were, they both felt it, felt it without discussing it. They had agreed on it, accepted it with just their eyes. She coughed before proceeding with a much more confident voice.  
‘We all know life can be hard. Everyone has experienced that, there’s no-one in the world, in the universe, that will be an exception. And while life is hard, while you feel like there’s nothing there to cheer you up again, nothing left for you, you will start giving things up. You will tell yourself you aren’t good enough, that every little thing is your fault. Even though it is all very untrue, you will eventually believe it with every little atom you’ve been made of. You will believe you are a living hell, believe you mean nothing. But then…’ she turned to Benedict who was glaring at her, hugging her with his eyes only. His face looked soft, gentle and showed he knew where she was talking about. After he gave her a careful nod, she proceeded.  
‘… then, there will be a light. A starlight, a flickering in the darkness. A blink of positivity, peeking through the emptiness, destroying the walls around you, brick by brick. And that light, that love that will do anything to help you, will make you realise you are worth it, you do count. It will make you realise you can be loved and most importantly: you can love as well.’  
She paused a bit, closing her eyes to let her own words sink in. She didn’t look at Benedict’s eyes as she tried to live her words. She didn’t feel the communication through his eyes, telling her how he felt. That he liked her, adored her: somehow loved her. She couldn’t see he was trying to tell her she was his everything, even after just a week. He couldn’t tell her he couldn’t help feeling like that, after such a short period of time.   
As she opened her eyes, she continued.  
‘So, Mr Lawson, yes, I have found that person. I have found him, my sparkle of light in the darkness. I found the one person that still cares about me, knowing everything about me. I found the one person learning me to love. Yes, I do.’  
The last words were spoken out with much confidence, giving him one last confirmation she was speaking only with her heart.

‘Wha… Madison, that… yes,’ Mr Lawson was somehow out of breath as he came back to senses. He didn’t look nervous anymore, now quite relaxed and contented as he gave her a gentle smile. All the obnoxious, witty answers she had given him to his other questions seemed like forgotten, as he started talking with the most gentle, emotional voice of him she had ever heard coming out of his mouth.  
‘That was… that was truly beautiful Madison, thank you. I am… I am serious, thank you.’

His eyes met his, softening and glancing at her as he touched her hand.  
‘Thank you.’

* * *

It were a few hours later. After she had answered the last question, she had given her goodbyes to let Benedict and Mr Lawson discuss the interviews together. Obviously, she knew who was going to be the one, but it still had to look professional. Just after she had received the most warming and knowing smile of Benedict, she had closed the door and texted Benedict she would be sitting on the nearby bench at the front of the building. And that’s where she was sitting right now.

The wind blew playfully against her skin, again giving her a warm embrace as her thoughts flew away with the wind towards the sky again. Different kinds of birds were whistling, giving her an orchestra of beautiful low and high pitches. It made her feel happy, relaxed and relieved all in once. She had finally announced the last thing she wanted to tell Benedict, finally revealed every little bit of her and to her surprise, she had never felt better.   
As the sunbeams warmed up her skin, tingling through her body, she smiled. It resembled the way Benedict made her feel. Whenever his hands would touch her, there would appear a little pulse of electricity, bouncing through her body, making her feel wobbly. She loved that, it felt good.

Very suddenly, the pulse she was just thinking about shot through her body, making her startle. The spot where a hand had touched her, now felt warm after the big, firm hand lowered to her waist to pull her closer. It was Benedict’s.  
As she turned around, their eyes instantly met. Still, his eyes showed kindness and love, though something else was added. Before she could actually think about it, he pulled her even closer and without mercy he pressed his lips on her, giving her the most warming, intense kiss she had ever experienced. His hands found their way through her blonde curls, ruffling through them leaving little sparks of firework coming off. As his head turned, he deepened the kiss and caressed every little thing about her. Their tongues discovered, touched and cared, leaving both of them with the most intense kiss they had ever had.

  
After about an eternity,  they both pulled away and as Benedict took her head in his loving hands, he plotted a kiss on her forehead and gave her a dazzling smile.  
‘You,’ he whispered, pulling her closer again for a hug. ‘You are amazing. I adore you, and everything you said was amazing.’

‘You are.’

‘Seriously Madison, you are flawless. I must admit your jokes really were funny but the last question… that was just…’ he paused as he tried to look for the best words. He didn’t want to rush things even more and yet he wanted to as well.   
‘… just, wonderful. The way you talked about it, love, life, it was amazing, splendid, I really have no words for it. With all my heart I hope I may be the one person who can do that for you.’

She gently blushed as she took his hands in her.  
‘Benedict, you are. You are the starlight.’

With big, round eyes he looked at her. Despite the fact that he knew they both felt the same way, the conformation of it still felt overwhelming, in the best way ever. As the biggest smile appeared on his face, an image suddenly popped up in his head.  
‘And you are mine,’ he said, as he plotted another caring kiss on her lips. They were so soft, soft as velvet and feathers, lovable and caring as nature. Very gently, he proceeded the conversation to tell her about the image that just popped up in his head. About the starlight, the starlight she had whispered about the day she had passed out, to then fall asleep again.  
‘About the… the starlights, you’ve said that earlier, after you woke up after you passed out.’

‘I know,’ she answered with a gentle kiss. ‘I… just after the coincidental encounter in the park, I fell asleep and I had one of the worst nightmares in my life. It was about a man, a devil, making me fade away and dissolve in the darkness while no-one could hear my screams. Just when I passed out later that day, when you were there, I had the nightmare again. Though that time, I didn’t  fade away. Right then, light beams peeked through the darkness like an arrow, forcing me back. The lights had voices though. It was… it was your voice. It was you.’

As the words entered his brain, he realised the lights she was talking about were not just a stroke, but really something. A something that was him.   
‘That’s the best thing I have ever heard someone saying,’ he whispered, gently stroking her hair as he looked her in the eyes. Her eyes spoke kindness, reliability and love.   
‘You don’t know how happy that made me, Madison, you have no idea. You have made me the happiest man in the universe, and I can’t help it, even in the short period of time I have known you but… but it feels like, it is true I know everything about you and… I won’t rush things but Madison, you are the only one I need.’

And with that words, those carefully chosen words, her eyes turned watery while teardrops wiggled down her cheeks.   
Though this time, it were tears of pure, pure happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I love you!
> 
> As I said, the idea I was talking about in the previous chapter will take place in the next. It will be a lovely celebration because of something :). And you obviously know the 'something', don't you?


	12. Addiction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! If you're still reading this, thank you so much! The fact that people are reading this makes me grimace, that people are giving kudos makes me smile and that people are actually commenting makes me faint. Seriously though, it's amazing! I'm so thankful!
> 
> This is a rather long chapter, it could've been even longer but I thought it'd be nice to put in the last bit in the next. 
> 
> Also, if you have any ideas, please let me know! I must confess I am creating a kind of a writers block at the moment...

A while later, she opened the door of her apartment. Together they had walked towards her lovely space she was able to call her home in the middle of London, enjoying the slight summer breeze as they both laughed and talked together.  
As she opened the apartment door, a lovely smell of fresh flowers and lemon surrounded them, touching their senses. It was the signature sent of her apartment: fresh, clean and lovely. While she was smelling like coconuts and Benedict like citrus and wood, the most perfect mingle of scents now filled the room with their presence.  
  
‘Shouldn’t we,’ she mumbled, walking towards the counter to grab two glasses of juice to reduce their thirst. ‘Shouldn’t we, you know, celebrate the fact that I’ve got a job now?’ She giggled, realising it was quite the irony.  
  
He followed her and kissed her blonde hair after wrapping his arms around her waist from behind to pull her closer. Her body melted to his, as if they were sculptured for one another.  
‘What do you have in mind?’

She giggled slightly as she pressed a glass of juice in his hands.  
‘Well, for me it’s a tradition to celebrate things with cake.’

‘Then we will have to hold onto that tradition, won’t we?’  
A cute grin appeared on his face, giving him a boyish glance. The sunlight reflected to his ocean eyes, revealing the most beautiful sight of his eyes she had ever seen. It still astonished her that it was able for him to be even more handsome than he already was, and yet it happened again and again. It was as if he got better by seconds.  
  
‘Oh yeah,’ she laughed, pressing a butterfly kiss on his soft, velvet lips. ‘What kind of cake?’

‘I was thinking… make one ourselves?’ he teasingly raised one of his eyebrows, tilting his head as he offered her his idea. ‘I mean, it’d be fun, right?’

The idea of Ben in her kitchen with an apron baking a cake made her laugh even harder. It was an issue of hers: whenever, wherever she would think about something with her brains, she would see it in front of her. It was something her friends used to tease her with, by coming up with shameful or disgusting situations so that she would almost feel it, see it happening. Because of the fact she knew Ben was a disaster in the kitchen, she imagined him with tousled hair, flour in every little corner and cracked eggs all over the place. He would’ve baked a cake that didn’t even rise up because he would’ve forgotten to put in baking powder and it would’ve taste disgusting because of the lack of sugar.

‘What you laughing at?’ Very suddenly, he grabbed her and swung her body over his shoulders, leaving a screaming and laughing Madison in above him. As she wildly writhed around, trying to escape from his adhesion, shouting mercy and explaining her visual thoughts, he threw her on the couch with himself soon after.  
He now was on top of her and a wave of giggles and laughter filled the living room. The sunlight heated up their skins as they laid on the couch for a while, mingling hands, tongues, bodies pressed together. His fingers treasured every inch of skin he touched, leaving the now familiar electrical pulse behind. His lips kissed hers, her perfectly soft, bold lips, kissed them with no mercy.  
She wrapped her hands around his torso, feeling the rhythm of his beating heart on hers. It was the beating heart of the man she treasured, adored, but most important: trusted. He was the one she trusted, the one and only one.

‘Oreo!’ she exclaimed, very suddenly, as Benedict pulled away from their kiss to actually be able to breathe. After giving in in each other with everything inside of them, they had almost forgot about the fact that to be able to live, a human should breathe.  
  
‘What?’ he smirked, giving her a questioning look as he let sunk in what she just said.  
‘You mean Oreo cake?’ He continued kissing her neck.

‘Yes! Exactly, sort of. I mean, Oreo, caramel, cheese cake: why the hell not?’

‘That,’ he paused to say the first word only to continue kissing her.  
‘Sounds,’ another kiss landed on her collar bone, leaving an even more intense pulse inside of her. Him kissing her collar bone felt so extremely… sexy.  
‘Delicious,’ he plotted one last, steamy kiss on her lips before pulling her up from the couch and bringing her to the kitchen.

A bit overwhelmed by his intense kissing, she started gathering the stuff she needed for the cake. She was very overwhelmed by his love, though in the most positive way possible. She trusted this man, trusted everything he did and she knew he would do everything with sincere passion, just like she did.  
As she opened the cabinet to search for some Oreos to fill the cheese cake with, Benedict started laughing, uncontrollably. One hand covered his hand to temper his laughter while his other one pointed at the unlimited supply of Oreos in the cabinet. It must’ve been more or less than twenty boxes of twelve Oreos each. Twenty boxes of all sorts of Oreos, varying from original to white chocolate, from lemon to cookie dough, showing him the biggest supply of biscuits he had ever seen.

‘Oh my god,’ he cried, sweeping away his tears of joy. ‘Oh my freaking god, Madison, you have a problem!’

She laughed at his reaction. From on the first moment she had ever tasted an Oreo, she fell in love. A love that would never stop, never ending, unlimited. It kind of resembled the way she first saw Benedict. She had never given herself permission to actually think about it in the beginning, but _good lord_ , he did look amazing that night. Not to speak about his gentleman behaviour on insisting walking her home. _He was so damn cute._

‘That’s what happens when I love something,’ she said, laughing also. ‘Don’t blame me! I can’t help I’m addicted.’

‘You can’t?’ he replied sarcastically, in between his hysterically laughter. ‘You can’t? Oh my god, you need help.’

‘It’s not the only thing I’m addicted to!’ she said, teasingly pressing him away from her.

‘Not? What else then? Another stack of something in here?’ he giggled, opening other cabinets. ‘I cannot recall anything peculiar from when I was here the other week. What else?’

‘You.’

* * *

It had been one good, lovely hour filled with laughter, love and one big mess. After she had told him she actually was addicted to him, he had instantly stopped laughing and had pulled her closer to give her the most passionate kiss she had yet received from him. It was full of love, surrender and he kept surprising her with all of his beauty and passion as he had tilted her head to deepen the kiss. Their lips had sent sparkles of fire into the air, electricity, sparks of love.  
After that, they had started preparing for the cake. Benedict, as her imagination, had cracked a few eggs not the way they were supposed to be cracked and also dropped half of the jar with flour. That had caused another uncontrollable haze of laughter and fun, capturing most of their precious baking time as Madison tried to continue. Benedict had made it hard for her, being the cutest dork as he messed up everything, almost ruining the whole cheese cake.

And that’s to the point where they were now. Madison was mixing last of the ingredients in as Benedict crushed some of the Oreo cookies in little pieces, secretly eating some of them to then reveal some _mmmms_ and _oh my god these are so good I can imagine you are addicted-sayings._ After she added in the Oreo crumbles and poured the mixture into a baking tray, she then gave Benedict the bowl of remaining caramel.  
‘Just drizzle that on top,’ she said, giving him a spoon.

With utter concentration, he started to drizzle the sweet caramel on top of the cheese cake dough. The dough already smelled lovely and despite his failing attempts, they kind of did a good job. The last thing he wanted to do now was messing it all up.  
Very slowly, he dragged the spoon over the cake dough, to then tilt it and let the liquid pour down over the cake in equally distributed parts. That, though, failed miserably. One big splash of caramel covered only the middle of the dough, while all the remaining parts were uncovered. It looked as if a little toddler did the job instead.

‘God, you’re such a disaster! Shame on you!’ She teasingly grabbed the spoon out of his hands to repair the mess he had made and quickly sprinkled some cookie crumbles over it to then put it in the oven as soon as she could.  
‘I must say you’re a better kisser. I’m not sure though.’

‘Do you need prove?’ he replied with the most mysterious tone, shoving away the dishes on the counter to make space for them. Very smoothly, he tilted her up and put her on the white, marble counter. It was the very same marble as the floor of the party room they had met. The room where a new chapter started, a new chapter where two lives became one.  
With both of his hands he touched her waist, as his lips brushed over hers, begging for mercy.  
‘Do you?’

Without even answering, she crushed her lips to his, kissing him again, this time more sensually, more caring. It was yet another side of them, yet another side to explore and she couldn’t feel more excited. She was wondering if she would ever be tired of this. The answer was a big, loud ‘no’, becoming only stronger as his hands stroked through her curls, caring, showing her the biggest affection.

 

 


	13. Dinner

‘So you’re having a meeting at 2 PM, 2 hours later you will be having some interviews until around 4 PM and afterwards you’re free,’ she handed him his schedule for the day following by a cup of coffee. She had been his personal assistant for three weeks now and frankly, she did quite enjoy it. The secret encounters they had just to kiss each other, the way she would process little surprise-encounters into his schedule, the fact that they were able to see each other almost every hour of the day: it was amazing. It did kind of feel like they were teenagers as they were sneaking around, locking doors just to be intimate with each other. Despite the fact that she didn’t like having to sneak around all day so that Mr Lawson won’t know anything about them, which caused them to never actually be themselves around people at work, she actually adored their teenage-like relationship during work. It was pure fun and made her feel young again. As soon as when work was done, they would just act totally ‘normal’ again, as ordinary people being in a relationship would do. Work just happened to bring a little twist.  
‘Well, kind of free. You’re having dinner somewhere.’

‘Thanks,’ very fast, he plotted a butterfly kiss on her cheek, brushing his lips against her soft, velvet skin as he took a sip of his coffee.  
‘Dinner? With whom?’

‘Let’s just say it’ll be fun. No more questions,’ she slightly giggled as she made her way through the big, wooden door. Before really going, she did a step back so that he only was able to see her face, exposing a healthy pink glow on her cheeks.   
‘You will be picked up at six.’

* * *

 

The sound of his doorbell made him go back to reality. It was hard and loud, causing him to jump up to almost fall on the ground with his cup of coffee with him. He was tired, didn’t feel like doing anything and things got worse as he just realised he would’ve actually need to be ready by now. As fast as lightning he jumped off the couch, racing to his bedroom to pull on his favourite dark blue suit that went with any occasion to then brush his hair and teeth within half a minute and put on his dark brown shoes. Very casually, he opened the door to find his chauffeur in the hallway.

‘Hello sir,’ his chauffeur smiled as he motioned him to his car. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Sort of, you know me,’ a little smirk appeared on his face as he closed the door behind him to follow the firm man towards the car. He really, really didn’t feel like coming. All he wanted to do right now was seeing Madison, feeling her lips against his, stroking his hands through her blonde curls, caressing her face with his hands while showing her his love. They had been seeing each other for exactly one month now, though it felt more like one year, one eternity even.   
Absently, he got into the car, positioning himself to then proceed daydreaming about the most wonderful woman on the planet. What he would do right now to just be able to see her, to spend dinner with her instead of probably some business fellows. With her, he was able to be himself to the fullest. He could do everything and anything all in once and it would still feel comfortable. She was so gorgeous, every little thing he treasured about her. All her imperfections that were perfect to him, her dimples in her cheeks that would appear if she would smile, her rosy cheeks: she was splendid. She was everything and…  
‘Sir, we arrived at the restaurant,’ the voice of his chauffeur broke his daydreaming. Within a few seconds, his door was opened and he felt obliged to step out and act as if he was going to enjoy it.   
‘Thank you, I’ll see you later.’

He received a small nod of the man, who then turned around to go back to the car. He, in turn, also turned around and entered the restaurant with confident steps. Without exaggeration, he had to admit it was lovely, wonderful even. The ceilings were covered with big, antique chandeliers, giving the space a very chic look. The walls were painted with a dark maroon colour, matching the bar stools of the dark wooden tables. Everywhere were candles lit, giving the restaurant bit of a cosy glance, while classical, inviting music gambled through the room.   
  
‘May I help you, sir?’ a very warm, lovely voice tickled his brain. It was a honest voice, full of beauty and loyalty that came from behind. Remarkably, it was very familiar, _very like..._  
Just at that moment, he rapidly turned around to see a smiling Madison in front of him. She looked exquisite, so splendid, so eccentric. Her dark red velvet dress hugged her curves at the very right places, little strands of her beautiful wavy hair hanged nonchalantly against her head as they had fallen out of her bun and a little pearl hanged around her long, swan neck.  A really sweet yet musky odour touched his senses. It was the smell of the perfume of hers he most liked.  
‘Oh my god,’ he just stared at her, being caught into the moment. Immediately, he wasn’t tired nor annoyed anymore and twinkles of joy appeared in his ocean blue eyes.   
‘Oh my god Madison, you look, you look eccentric.’

A lovely smile appeared on her face, allowing little twinkles to appear in her eyes like his and also to show the damn dimples in her cheeks. The dimples he treasured so much, that made her look so, damn cute.  
‘Thank you,’ she whispered, placing a kiss on his lips. ‘You do look quite handsome yourself.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ a boyish grin rolled over his face.   
‘I would’ve been so much more excited today, I might as well have been a tiny little bit friendlier to some… people. Just a tiny.’

‘Really?’ she laughed now and pulled him closer into a hug. ‘What’ve you been up to Mr Cumberbatch?’

‘Oh, you wouldn’t want to know,’ he playfully said, laughing against her hair. ‘Let’s get dinner, shall we?’

‘Let’s.’

* * *

 

A couple of lovely and very amusing hours had passed by. They had ordered champagne, to celebrate the fact that they both loved champagne. They had shared meals, as Madison had ordered roasted salmon with asparagus and a lovely sauce of dill and cream and Benedict a lovely, Italian pasta consisting of chunks of bacon, olives and all sorts of fresh herbs. They had again ordered champagne, to then finish the meal with an even more Italian tiramisu which they shared the old fashioned way. They had laughed about all sorts of silly things and discussed each other days and plans for next week. It had been lovely.  
  
‘I had the best time Madison,’ he smiled, sipping from his espresso. Drinking espresso was something they always did after dinner, starting to be some sort of tradition.   
‘Thank you.’  
  
‘Me too,’ she plotted a butterfly kiss on his cheek as she bended forward. ‘And you’re most welcome.’

‘It sure was a nice surprise, considering I was actually a total wreck wanting to cancel everything  because I didn’t feel like spending my evening without you,’ he grinned. ‘Now let me just give you a little surprise in return?’  
Before she could say anything, he quickly stood up, sat himself down next to her and pressed his lips on hers. Without even caring about anyone that was watching, he deepened the kiss, revealing everything inside him: treasure, affection, love, it was endless. She instantly wrapped her hands around his torso, he stroking his hands through her wavy hair as he was thinking about on his way towards the restaurant. It felt like they were the only two humans on earth, as if no-one existed but them. It was as if the whole restaurant was empty, as if the only thing that filled the room was the classical music that gambled through the room. As if nobody was able to watch them.  
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

‘Madison?’ a familiar voice appeared next to their table, though it showed surprise, anger even. ‘Benedict?’

Benedict was still all over her as they both looked up to find the stature of a big, firm man standing next to their table, wearing a grey suit. He was wearing a suit that resembled someone that tried to come off wealthy, while he sure was not.   
Both their eyes widened as they realised from whom the voice was. Mr Lawson.

 


	14. How long will you sleep?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, I'm so sorry for being inactive. I have been sick, sorry :(!  
> And it's also short: sorry sorry sorry x 209082410821021

‘Mr Lawson , oh my god I…’ within seconds she pushed Benedict off her and while she shoved herself up with one hand, she straightened her hair with the other.  
‘I… I can explain, it’s just…’

‘No!’ the loud, clear statement of Mr Lawson entered her brain, making her realise what was going on. His eyes spitted fire, stating his disbelief, her betrayal.   
‘You can’t. You can’t, miss Parson, and you won’t. You know this is against everything!’ he was shouting now, ignoring the people around him, ignoring his rudeness.  
‘You bloody hell know what this means, but how fucking could you! The little bitch you are, I knew it! I’ve known all the time you are one piece of shit. I felt it!’

‘Sir, sir,’ very suddenly, a hesitated voice of Benedict appended the conversation. ‘It’s my fault, I… don’t blame her sir, I’m very sorry I…’

‘I don’t fucking care who to blame! Miss Parson knows very well what she has done, knows the rules here very well also and she might as well also understand now she bloody hell is fired!’

 _Fired._  
 _Fired._  
The words gambled trough her brain, giving her the last bit of realisation she needed. It happened. Everything she was afraid of, finally happened. She had lost her job, her friends there: her life in London. The fact that she’d got the job was what gave her the guts to start a new life and now… now, it didn’t make sense. Lost, gone, forever.

‘I, I…’ a tear rolled down her cheek. ‘I should go.’  
She took her purse, threw some money on the table and ran away. Again. She ran away, ignoring everything around her. Ignoring the lovely atmosphere that had made her feel so good just a while back, ignoring the beautiful music, ignoring Mr Lawson, but most of all: him. He. He was the one she loved, infinitively loved, yet he didn’t know. He was the one that made she who she was now, the real version of herself. But she would have to leave him.   
With uncontrolled breathing she crossed the road, not taking care of the cars moving, almost not hearing the honking of the passing cars. Not hearing Benedict shouting, chasing after her. Not seeing he wasn’t able to cross the road as well, making her disappear in the crowd of people on the London streets.   
Yes, she would have to leave him. The only thing she was doing was ruining his life. What did he had to do with an ordinary girl like her anyway? A stupid, emotional wreck who doesn’t mean anything in this world. A so-called bitch who takes advantage of situations, according to her boss.

Within minutes, she entered the underground, taking her place on one of the seats of the metro, letting her thoughts wiz away with the speed.

* * *

Days had passed. Many days of ultimate sickness, disgust and utter miser. Benedict had stood multiple times banging on her door, shouting he wanted to talk, that he knew she was inside and that he missed her. It had made her cry again and again.

She had lost the count of his callings, messages, e-mails, whatever thing to get in contact with her. But she had ignored them all. It would be the best, leaving him alone. Eventually he would realise she was only making things difficult for him, realise she was only just a fling and then he could go on with his life. A normal, decent life. A peaceful life without miser.

Just as she was about to make some sort of dinner, she realised she literally didn’t  have anything eatable in her home. Despite the fact that she really did feel sick, just like a while back, she forced herself to eat, blaming her sickness on her sadness. For the past few days, she had actually felt really bad, dizzy and unwell. Whenever she would stand up, she would almost fall down and the headache was getting worse and worse. Even though she forced herself to eat and drink, she wasn't able to keep any inside, what caused her to vomit almost all day long. And yet, she was going to the shops to get food.  
  
The way towards the shop, though, was harder than expected. Today especially, she felt really bad, and the lift downstairs did not really help. As she started walking down the pavement to the closest shop, summing up the groceries she was going to buy, she suddenly felt a stabbing pain in her head, causing her to scream. It felt like knives being stabbed in and out of her head, as if people were slamming her head with hammers. It felt as if someone was fighting her, slamming her head on the cool, hard floor. It hurted so, so much. It hurted so much that she felt like exploding from on inside.  
Though, she ignored it. With little, unsteady steps, she pulled herself together and started walking towards the grocery shop. With every step, every little inch of her moving body, her health stayed behind. Her health simply couldn't catch up with her, making her sight go blurry and vague.  
  
 _Just a few more steps and you're there._  
She tried to persuade herself she was simply overreacting, that it didn't have to do anything with the sickness she had the other week. Though, every thought she had, breath she had, every swallow ripped out all the left over energy in her body. She knew it was happening again. Her sight started appearing black, her body dizzy and again everything was swirling around her. As if she was blown away by a tornado, swept away with the endless waves of the sea. As if someone pulled out the plug, the plug of her life.   
Though, just before everything really went blank, she saw him, him reaching out for her. Shouting, crying, screaming her name, his long legs accelerating, trying to be fast enough to catch her. He happened to be there, happened to visit the very same shop and happened to see falling Madison in a never ending sleep. Or was it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the next chapter some thoughts of Benedict will be revealed. So his POV when she is falling down.


	15. Circle of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, hi there, it has been long. I'm so very sorry again like 2047848 times sorry and I know what you are thinking right now but just... sorry. I haven't been online for like two weeks for valid and invalid reasons and well... here I am.  
> I hope you can forgive me, because I love you!  
> 

'Madison!'

'Madison!'

Muted sound swirled through the damp, moist air, swirling like a bright, colourful pigment dissolving in the water. Slow, very slow, muted, obtused, soft. A whisper, yet screaming whisper, very patiently. It entered her ears, giving one last impuls to activate her brain.  
  
'Madison, what is...'

Moist drops fell on her cheeks, tears of utter miser, unhappiness. It weren't hers.

'Please... Madison please!'

Firm, acquianted hands grabbed her body, her motionless, stirless body. It was the last thing she felt before falling into a sleep that yet didn't have an ending.

* * *

She stood there. She was smiling, giving him a genuine, lovely smile. They were sitting on the bench, in the park, flowers everywhere. The warm light of the sun embraced them like a soft, cozy blanket, providing them the perfect place to be.   
The sky could have never been bluer, the atmosphere never purer and her eyes could have never been brighter. So bright, so full of life like the most powerful thing on planet earth. Like the waves of the sea, like the most sparkling diamond, like stardust of a fairy.   
In fact, it felt like a fairy tale. Her blonde curls falling loose over her shoulder like a princess. Her lovely, mint dress, fitting her like a glove. She, though, was way better than any princess.   
  
'Benedict?' her voice tickled his brain. She looked up to him, making their eyes to meet.

'Yes dear?' he landed a soft, butterfly kiss on her velvet skin.

'I...,' she looked down for a second, watching him through her lashes. 'I lo-'

A very sudden firm hand on his shoulder made him startle. Immediately, he looked behind him for the person who just did that. But as he did, as he looked up, suddenly he wasn't in the lovely, warm park anymore. Suddenly, he was in a white, odd room. Suddenly, a man, wearing a white coat was looking up to him, a stethoscope around his neck.   
Suddenly, he know where he was.  
The hospital.  
  
'I'm sorry, sir,' the man spoke. He looked kind, a bit of hesitation in his voice before he proceeded. 'I'm very sorry to wake you up. Do you know why you are here? Do you remember?'

A wave of anxiety engulfed his body, stating the obvious. His eyes narrowed, trying to hold back tears, trying to fall asleep again and wake up to a lovely Madison next to him.   
'I... I do, yes. Please, tell me what happened. Please, I need to know please.'   
He felt sick, disguised, like he could be throwing up any time soon. He wanted to cancel this living nightmare, to press the rewind button and go back to her.  
 _Where was she?_

'Of course, I-,' the man couldn't end his sentence as Benedict finally fully realised everyhthing, coming back to senses.

'Where is she? Where is she? I need to... I need to see her I,' he stood up, almost falling down but soon recovering as he felt the hand on his shoulder again, gently pressing him back on the chair.

'You can't see her right now. I'm sorry, sir, it is impossible.'

'Why? No! I need to I...'

'Shall I?' the man's voice was calming, kind. It sounded as a voice of a man to trust, making sure he was in good hands. He trusted him.

'What happened can you please tell me what happened I...' a tear wiggled down his cheek. 'I need to know.'

'Easy, easy,' the person gave him a bottle of water, trying to calm him down a bit. 'Try to breathe.'  
  
'Please.'  
  
'Sir, I will tell you, but you need to stay focused. You need to breathe.'  
  
For the sake of Madison, he tried to calm himself down, inhaling deeply, exhaling calmly, keeping the process going. He felt himself calming down, just a little, but enough for the doctor to proceed.

'That's much better. Alright, I will start now, if you want me to stop just tell me.'

'Yes, please.'

The man took a deep breath before starting the story.  
'Do you remember Madison having to take medicines due to her illness?' the doctor looked up to him, giving him time to produce the information. Giving him time to think, to get the facts straight but most importantly, to breathe.  
In response, Benedict simply nodded.

'Those medicines really were imporant, helping her not to become ill again. She wasn't having the most severe form of the illness at that moment, as her medication prevented her from going there. Though, something in her system went wrong.'

Benedict swallowed, blinking his eyes a few times before the doctor proceeded.

'The virus affected her system, causing her not to be able to keep anything inside. We don't know for sure how it happened, it can be due to the fact that she forgot to take her medication or it just didn't work, something that happens very seldom.'

The information hit him, causing him to shiver as he ran his hands through his hair.

'Because she couldn't keep anything inside, any medicines she would have taken, wouldn't have been able to do their job, causing the virus to broad his network, making the ilness more affective. She... everything she would eat or drink, she would simply throw up, causing her to dehydrate.'

Everything was coming together bit by bit, providing him little by little more realisation.

'This went on for three days. Three days without any water is... bad. A human can live without food for almost a month but every day without water is one too less. This has been the case for Madison. She... dehydrated, which means her system wasn't able to work again, to perform the functions. Therefore, her blood pressure went below average and... the light kind of, switched off.'

Every sentence, every word, every single letter hit him hard, again and again. 

'She... Madison had a heart attack. Three.'

It was as if a wrecking ball smashed his head, destroyed his brain, making him incapable to think properly. His fists hit the table hard, very hard, an aching pain flooding though him. But he didn't care, didn't feel, all he could was thinking about Madison. The most wonderful, beautiful woman he had ever seen, experienced, felt.   
'No! No it can't be no!' he yelled, tears falling down his cheeks, uncontrollably. He stood up from his chair, walked towards the wall and smashed his fist on it once again. 'No!'

 


	16. Before you fly, you fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be up yesterday, but the second I finshed the chapter, I accidentally deleted it. Let me tell you... I was rather upset.  
> But, here it is anyway. Enjoy!

‘I want to see her! I need to see her where is she… where’ he shouted now, shouted out of misery and disbelief. Madison, his Madison, having three heart attacks. Madison, the woman he infinitely loved, wrecked in a hospital bed. He felt like vomiting, while bit by bit more information was settling in his brain, making him realise how bad the situation was. He felt like screaming, punching more walls as he figured he had never told her how much he actually loved her.  
Because he did. So, so incredibly much. Never would he have thought it was even possible to love someone so much. And yet he hadn’t told her, which was why he felt like slapping himself even more.

‘I’m very, very sorry sir. Only direct family can visit her right now.’

‘For fucks sake!’ he cried, uncontrollably, tears falling down on his crystal white shirt, leaving wet spots behind. ‘For fucks sake, she doesn’t have di-fucking-rect family here! She’s all by he damn own in a foreign country! I’m her boyfriend! I need to see her… she… she’s all alone I have to!’  
He was so angry, so incredibly angry with the doctor now. Deep down, though, he knew the poor man couldn’t do anything about it. He had his orders, and he was supposed to adhere to them. But, at this moment, he might as well punched him right in the face.

‘Sir, I understand you’re very upset. But I really can’t change anything about the situation, except for keeping you up to date. You’ll have to calm down, it’s for the best.’  
The doctor put his hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him, but all Benedict did was rapidly pushing him away.

‘But what about her? She’s all on her own what...’ he was trying to find the right words, but he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t come up with the words to describe his utter misery. He wasn’t able to express himself, only cry, cry and not holding back.

‘We’ve already contacted her family sir. They are on their way, you shouldn’t worry about that.’

‘Tha… thank you.’

‘It’s alright, sir. I’ve also arranged a hospital bed for you, if you’d like to stay. Once you will be able to visit her, you’ll know straight away.’

In response, Benedict simply nodded, when suddenly, he felt extremely tired. His eyes turned gloomy, big bags underneath, distending them to stay focused. At once, he felt a painful headache coming up, making him feeling even more miserable. It felt like he had been staying up for an eternity, being wide awake for the last three decades.  
‘What time is it?’

‘It’s very late, sir, almost 3 AM. I think it’s best for you to get a few hours of sleep. I will guarantee you I will inform you as soon as I know more.’  
With that, the man guided Benedict towards the guestroom. All he did was following him, not bothering to do anything else, just going with. The doctor told him something before closing the door behind him, but he couldn’t even hear. As if he was a zombie, he climbed in the bed, not taking care about his clothes still being on, not taking care about anything but Madison.

* * *

A few days later her parents had arrived. Her mother had only been able to cry her eyes out, while her father was standing motionless next to her bed with moist eyes. They had been holding her hand every second they were being in the room. They had cried, they had whispered, talked to her, trying to get something out of her. Nothing had come.

The doctor had came back to Benedict. He hadn’t left his room for once, while he hadn’t felt like doing anything as long as it was without Madison. He had felt like nothing was even worth breathing, if Madison wasn’t there to accompany him. Like nothing was worth living if he wasn’t able to share his life with his beloved Madison.   
The moment the doctor had came into his room, telling him he was able to enter Madison’s, he had ran and ran, accelerating his long legs to ran even faster, all the way to Madison’s room. But once he had arrived, he had stopped for a moment, looking through the little window in the big, firm door to see both her parents crying.   
  
His eyes watered again as he gently pushed open the door.  
‘He… hello, my name is Benedict,’ he said, very softly like a whisper. He hadn’t yet seen her parents, as he refused to leave his room. He did a gentle step closer.  
But, as he did that, he saw Madison. His Madison, his beloved Madison laying motionless in the big, white hospital bed. His dear Madison, looking so awfully little, so miserable being soaked up in the gigantic bed. It looked so terrifying, so very horrible as she was surrounded by entwined wires, cables and different devices. Devices that were to keep her alive, but yet looked so ghastly. She looked so… so lifeless.  
With that, he wasn’t able to hold back his tears as he ran to Madison to stand by her bed. Very gently, he took her hand in his to place a soft kiss on it, next to the infusion. Wet tears dripped down on the silk sheets, tears of utter misery, a broken heart. 

He didn’t know for how long he was doing this, but after a while he suddenly stood up again and coughed while trying to wipe away some tears.  
‘God I’m so sorry… I’m sorry, it’s just… I’m her boyfriend and I love her and...’ again he cried, not being able to express himself. This wasn’t how he was supposed to meet her parents. It was supposed to be lovely, peaceful and great. It was supposed to happen while having some dinner at an exquisite restaurant. Not like this, not without Madison even being here.

Her mother was the first one to speak.  
‘We know, Benedict. She loves you.’

In disbelief, he distended his eyes.   
‘She does?’  
Somewhere, somewhere deep down, far, far away, he felt a little sparkle of happiness. A little sparkle of gracefulness, realising that she loved him also. For one second, it pierced through his body, making him feel warm, satisfied. But, soon enough, he realised there was yet another reason for her to wake up, which she still hadn’t.

Now it was her father to say something.  
‘She has told us all about you. Yes, she does, and I can see why. It’s alright, Benedict, it’s alright. You couldn’t do anything about it, we know.’

‘But...’ hot tears wiggled down his cheeks as he tried to find the right words. The words to describe how awful he felt. The words to describe that he felt like it was his fault, like without him, this wouldn’t have happened. But, before he could proceed, her father continued.

‘We know the story, Benedict, and we know our daughter also. Please, don’t think you have anything to do with this.’  
The man placed a hand on his shoulder. He looked kind, very kind. Tousled brown hair, the very same blue eyes as Madison’s, a genuine expression, while her mother looked so incredibly sweet. So caring, so passionate.

‘I… I don’t know what to say. Thank you, Mr Bellamy, Ms Bellamy.’  
His voice was hoarse, raucous.

‘Don’t bother. Please, call me Jaren, my wife Madeleine.’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any bright ideas, I'd love to hear them, really!  
> Also, what would you like to see happening to Madison?


	17. Love is the flower you've got to let grow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flower that blooms in adversity, is the most rare and beautiful of all.
> 
> Thank you for still reading, my dearest reader. If you are, I strongly suggest you to listen to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5147zORrGU while reading this chapter.  
> Thank you.

It had been four months. Four months, four long, exhausting, horrible months full of angst, uncertainty. Four months since Madison fell asleep, so long since she last saw the world, breathed in the fresh air. So long, since she last sat on the bench in the lovely park, since she had a good conversation, a kiss.  
And in that four months, Benedict had been there. All the time.  
He had comforted her, held her hand, sang for her. He had cried over her, laughed for her, screamed about her. He had been there every single day when his shedule would allow it, having to be dragged away to work for his career. With reluctance, he would be away for a few weeks, every now and then, to film. But, once he was back again, he would stand by her side, all day long, all night long. Hoping for her to wake up one day, to be greeted by the friendly beams of sunlight, tickled by the warmth.

Right now it was near the end of the fourth month. Benedict had been away again, for three weeks filming Sherlock. Every now and then he would go back to the hospital in between filming, but sometimes his schedule just didn't allow. How badly he wanted to go, how miserable he felt: he sometimes just wasn't able to leave. Because of the fact that she was transferred to a hospital in the Netherlands, it only made things harder. He wanted to go, but couldn't.  
And today, today was one of those days.

The first real beams of warm sunlight stroke his pale, marble skin. It was the first good day of May, the first day of actual spring. He was supposed to be happy about it, supposed to feel fresh, contented. But still, even after four months, not a day, hour, minute or second went by without thinking about his Madison.   
Very slowly, a moist tear wiggled down his cheek. He still couldn't accept it, couldn't accept the fact that Madison wasn't there. That he couldn't take Madison out for a picknick on this beautiful spring day, couldn't see her twirling around in a loose summer dress being so god damn beautiful. How it wasn't fair that he couldn't inhale her lovely scent, how he wasn't able to kiss her velvety, soft lips. Her lips, so soft, so soft like the lightest pillow, tenderer than any feather. Such gentle, such mellow, suave lips, so honest.  
How it wasn't fair that he couldn't look in her eyes. Not looking in her loyal, honest eyes made him mad, so extremely mad, so angry. Her crystal blue eyes with the green undertones and the little flecks: closed, just closed. Her eyes that used to be so lively, so fresh with the most beautiful, eccentric sparks in them.   
It wasn't fair. Just not fair.

'Mate,' suddenly, he felt a warm, familiar hand on his shoulder. Without even to bother to look around, he knew it was Martin. His soft voice spoke.   
'It's going to be fine, just fine. She's a tough girl, we all know that. She's been through so much, so also through this.'

His words were kind, delicate, though failing at calming him down. _Why would Madison wake up again, after not doing so for four months? Why?_  
'It's just... just not fair,' another wet drop fell on his grey button up. 'She's ruining me.'

'I know. She is. She is ruining all of us, but she will stop doing that, eventually. Now come on, mate, we need to go back to set. They need you.'

'I'll... I'll be there, just a sec,' he felt the hand on his shoulder wipe away, followed by footsteps crushing the gravel, becoming more hazy and hazy as Martin walked further away from him.  
He just sat there, on the bench, trying to get himself together. How hard it was, how difficult and practically impossible: he had to pull through, go on with his life. As he tried wiping away some tears, he took a sip of his coffee and eventually jumped of the bench.   
 _Yes, that is what Madison would want him to do. And when she wakes up, she will be proud._

* * *

 'Madison,' he whispered, tears falling down on his cheeks. 'Oh, Madison, I missed you so much, I love you so much I-'

Before he could answer, she pulled him towards him and crushed her lips to his, giving him the most passionate kiss he had ever experienced in his entire life. How long he had been waiting for this: how long he had desired to feel her again, to touch her, experience her.   
Finally, her eyes fluttered open, revealing the beautiful sparkles again, the sparkles of life. The sparkles he desired so much, so damn much.

Both their hands stroke through each others hair, caring, revealing everything inside while they kept on kissing. Not a moment they stopped loving, caring, not a moment they stopped to eagerly admire every second they could cherish together now, after such a long time.

It felt like a lifetime before they both parted away, both revealing the widest, biggest grin on their face. Sparkles of lust, happiness and desire shone in their eyes, wrinkles of gratefulness appeared next to the corners of their mouths.

'I love you too, Benedict.'

With that, he kissed her again, calmer this time. Gently trying to save all of what was currently happening secure in his head, to keep it there forever.

'What have you done to me, Madison,' he whispered, while again tears fell down on his cheeks.  
  
With her thumbs, she carefully whiped them away.  
'I'm so sorry, so, so sorry,' she began to cry also.

Suddenly, an odd sound came up. He didn't know where it came from, neither did she. It was strange, extraneous, as the sound kept on swirling through the air, surrounding them while becoming louder and louder, encircling them like ink dissolving in water. The tune, it came from nowhere, yet from everywhere.  
And while Benedict tried to look where it came from, Madison slowly, very slowly, started closing her eyes again.

'Madison? Madison what are you doing!' his voice hit on by anxiety. 'Madison come back, now! Madison!'  
He yelled now, as Madison's body started to weaken again, feeling the life being sucked out as he held her in his hands.  
  
'Madison!' he screamed, wet tears falling down on her cheeks, all from him. Though one, one tear wiggled down from her eye, falling on his ring finger, very slowly.  
'No! No! You can't do this to me again, come back! Madison!'  
He started to move, mowing with his arms to get help, suddenly very sweaty as drops of transpiration drowned his body.

Suddenly, he wasn't with Madison anymore. Suddenly he was wet from sweat, entwined with the white, silk duvet of his very own bed. _It was all just a dream.  
_ As he tried coming back to senses again, trying to calm himself down, he sat down on the edge of the bed with his hands in his hair, while his elbows were resting on his long, slim legs. But, just as he was about to fetch himself a glass of water, he realised the tune, the sound appearing in his dreams, didn't go away. It was still there: loud and clear. Still there, while he then realised it was his cellphone.   
 _His bloody phone!_  
Immediately, he let himself rapidly fall down on the bed in order to reach his phone, allowing himself to watch the number on the screen. 

It was Madeleine's. Her mother's.   
Faster than a split of a second, he pressed the green button.

'He... hello?'

'Benedict, she woke up.'

It was as if a giant arrow pierced through his heart, making it explode, feeling him all warm inside. He felt as a little boy allowed to open up his presents on Christmas morning, as if he just beated a pinata revealing confetti and sweets exploding everywhere, making the whole room to light up.   
He felt insane, confused, but so incredibly happy, so grateful, while tears of happiness fell down onto his cheeks. Without knowing, he had let go of his phone which was now laying on the wooden floor while a suppressed sound came out of it.

'Benedict? Benedict you there?'

Very rapidly, he picked up his phone again.  
'Yes of course I am!' he almost shouted, not being able to stop smiling, suddenly very awake. 'Of course I bloody am oh my god! Can I talk to her, please, can I talk to her? I need her I...'

'She's sleeping again,' she said, also crying.   
'But not... not like that,' her mother added, while Benedict could practically hear her smiling on the other end of the phone.

'Does she remember anything? I mean... any of... it?' he talked so fast, so full of energy and excitement as he couldn't explain how contented he was. How long he had been waiting for this moment, how many dreams he had about it, nightmares even.

'We don't know. She just woke up for a few minutes, and you might as well be very happy to hear what she said.'

'What? What did she say?' his voice pitched higher.

'She said only one thing, one sentence which was, I quote, 'Benedict? Yes, I love you, very much.', exactly those words.'

Again he cried and cried, delightful tears streaming down his face.  
'Oh you've no idea how much I love her, I missed her so much. I'm coming right now.'

'We've arranged a flight for you already, though the first one is tomorrow evening.' Her mother's voice sounded a bit disappointed, yet hopeful, accepting. Despite the fact that she felt miserable for Benedict not being able to come straight away, she accepted it. Nothing could be changed. And, with that, most important was the fact that Madison was back again. It was all she could ask for.

'What? There isn't an earlier one?' A haze of confusion swirled over him.

'I'm truly sorry, but no. You weren't even able to attend that flight, but we payed double. All of them are full.' Somehow, her voice calmed him down, while some aspects, some sounds resembled Madison's beautiful voice.

'But-'

'Don't you worry,' she cut him off. 'She knows you've been there all the time, she knows. You will see her tomorrow evening, promise.'

'I,' he just didn't know what to say, lost for words. 'Th... thank you.'

* * *

It had been a decent amount of hours after the intimate phone call, and Benedict was on his way to the airport. He literally was hopping up and down as he situated himself in the taxi, not even bothered to bring much of luggage with him. The only thing after he woke up from the call was laying in his bed with wide open eyes, to then go out of his bed at around 4 AM only pacing through the living room. Then, at 9 AM, after drinking about twenty cups of coffee he hurried himself to the shop to buy the one pink tulip. The pink tulip he had swore by, the other day. The pink tulip, her favourite flower. It was the flower he had given her so many times while visiting her, and every time she would receive them she would give him the most dazzling smile.   
And there, here he was, about to receive one yet again.  
  
He was so grateful, so extremely contented and happy as the taxi deposited him next to the plane, being able to enter it straight away.

A few minutes later, he found himself looking through the window, seeing London becoming smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing into the clouds. It was his home, but he had never felt happier leaving it to see his beloved Madison again. His beloved, beautiful, wonderful Madison.

* * *

 

He woke up from his sleep, feeling extremely tired but yet so full of energy as he felt the plane landing again. Everything that followed, went by in a haze of whirlwind, trying to run out of the flying machine as fast as possible. As fast as possible to be with his Madison again.  
But, as he walked through the arrival doors, he found a massive crowd of fans waiting for him. As much as he loved them, adored them, all he wanted to was be with Madison again, as fast as he could, faster than the speed of light.  
So, while he tried to make progress leaving, he absently signed some papers as he made his way through the cheering crowd. He tried to act like nothing was going on, while on the inside, he felt like exploding.   
And while he was pushing himself forward, trying to escape the mass of fans, he very suddenly saw a pink tulip being held up, peeking through the hordes. A pink tulip, just like the flower Madison loved so much. 

'Always the generous man, aren't you?'

 

 


	18. The imitation game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you are thinking  
> Probably something like this:
> 
> 'Oh my god, why hasn't she uploaded? Why the hell not? I hate her.'
> 
> Sorry, sorry, sorry.  
> Now you're thinking this:  
> 'Yeah right, as if that helps. Also, this isn't the first time it happened.'
> 
> Yes, I know. I want to apologise like 25579379342707 times but I know I can only proove my guilt to you, so well, I'm going to do that by writing.
> 
> I was just really, like seriously really, busy with school and final tests and stuff, but now I have summer break so it should be fine!  
> Thanks for reading this (if you still are): I love you!
> 
> P.s. the title is quite the thing, huh? It just popped up in my head and until after I didn't realise it was actually a movie in which he plays.

Her voice. It was hers. Her calm, beautiful voice, entering his ears like a melody.  
Her hand. Hers. Her slender, velvet hands that were so gentle and soft.  
Her hand, holding _their_ flower. The pink tulip, her favourite flower he had sworn by a long, very long time ago, in which so much had changed.

Automatically, he teared up while realising it was Madison who just spoke to him. For a second, he closed his eyes to let everything sink in, to then abruptly make his way through the massive crowd to find his Madison. His lovely, beautiful Madison.  
It was the first time he saw her face again through the gathering of people, her face full of life, a wide smile. Her face, so elegant, so perfect: it instantly made him tear up. 

'Madison,' he cried and cried, big, fat tears streaming uncontrollably down his face as he was so close he could almost touch her.

'I love you,' with his arm, he tried to reach her, reach for her lovely body, her perfect moulded shape.

'I...' 

That was the moment he touched her again, the first time that she could actually feel it also. It was as if a bomb exploded, firework emerged sending tinglings of pure joy through both of their bodies. It felt so good, so extremely good and joyful. Better than finding an oasis after being long lost in a desert, better than hearing the schoolbells on the last day of school: better than anything.  
'Oh my god,' he embraced her, hugged her as thight as he was able to with his strong, firm hands. So thight, as if he was afraid of losing her again.

'I love you,' she whispered, tears wiggling down her cheeks. Se could've never imagined loving somebody that much was even humanily possible. She could've never dared to wish to experience love, experience the best thing in the entire universe. Benedict, her Benedict: she loved him with all of her heart. With all of her body, all of her cells, all of her atoms, she loved him.  
Wet, moist drops driggled down from her face on his crisp white shirt as he took her face in his hands to press their foreheads together. 

'What have you done to me?' he whispered, gently, to then press a tender kiss on her lips.  
 _Oh, her lips, her velvety soft lips_ , how he had missed them. How he had missed the touch of hers to his, their kisses, their perfect kisses, never too many.

'I...' she snuggled her face into his neck to inhale his lovely scent again. His scent, that smelled so familiar, so good: spicy yet sweet. '... I'm so sorry, Benedict, I'm so very sorry.' 

Very gently, he stroke her hair, shushing her as he placed a loving kiss on the top of her head.   
'It's fine, my dear, you are back now. It's all that matters.'

* * *

It had been three weeks. Three weeks of only happiness, only pleasure and fun. After they had seen each other for the first time again on the airport in her home country, they had gone visiting the house where she grew up, the home where she had told so much stories about. He met her entire family, all as loving and caring as Madison were. They had spent long, summer nights together, earning back everything they had missed. They just loved, enjoying every second together that passed by, catching up with all the good things they should've done earlier.  
Currently, it was the first day of the fouth week.

'What would Madame like to do today?' his baritone voice spoke playfully, teasing her slightly. She was perfectly well again and both physically and mentally the old Madison. Life finally was like old times.

'Hmmm...' she mumbled slightly as she grinded coffee beans, standing opposite from the counter, which provided him a perfect view of her behind. Very secretly, he looked up from his newspaper that he was reading while sitting at the dinner table and without even realising, he gave her bum an approved nod. What he didn't realise also, was the fact that she was able to see him from the reflection of the mirror.  
'Madame doesn't know, maybe...' she abruptly cut off her own sentence as she saw Benedict sneaking around. '... oh my god, are you checking out my ass?'  
  
Her shocked eyes met his and he gave her a boyish grin in return.  
'Maybe,' he grimaced, while tilting up his eyebrows seductively.

'Maybe?'

'That's what I said, yes,' his eyes started to twinkle after he gave her a short wink.

'Oh god, no, a wink? You naughty, old man, cold you stop that?'

'Stop with what?'

'With being so,' she hesitated. 'so awfully cute.'

'Is that so?' very suddenly, he stood behind her, his hand tracing patterns on her back that made her shiver in return.

'That's what I said yes,' a giggle escaped her mouth as she sarcastically quoted his very choice of words.

'Oh, are we going to act like _that_?' a wicked smile appeared on his face.

'Maybe.'

'You are one of a kind, madame,' he spoke, after leaving butterfly soft kisses on her neck.

'Is that so?' now her eyes were twinkling in anticipation as she again imitated his words.

With a swift motion, her turned her around so that they were facing each other.  
'It is, yes.'  
And with that, he kissed her ever so passionate.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my lovely reader ♥!  
> If you have ay recommendations or whatsoever, please leave them below! I'm currently at a lack of ideas. Good, old writer's block. Ahum...

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think :)! It makes me happy and enthusiastic to write more chapters.


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